


30 Days of Sam Winchester

by sammy_moo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 31,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammy_moo/pseuds/sammy_moo
Summary: The 30 Days of Sam Winchester is based off a 30 day song challenge that inspired each fic for each day.





	1. Drunk Emails

_**Favorite[ song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DcFHx5OEu0v4&t=ZmIyNzNkN2ViNjEzNmE1ODA5MTljYjhlMjNlOTFhODMzYjNkOGI5NywxZk5OeFpHVw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159090991578%2Fdrunk-emails&m=1)** _

 

Sam hummed as he pressed the shot glass to his lips. The cold, licorice-like alcohol washed over his taste buds. Once the shot was down, he chased it before pouring another. He quickly imbibed the next mouthful of alcohol. 

Sam tried to pour out another shot of Jaeger to find that the green bottle was now empty. A groan escaped his lips as he stood up, causing the wooden chair to scrape backwards against the carpet. 

Sam dropped the bottle into the trashcan with a loud clank. His glossy, hazel eyes landed on the small fridge in the room. 

Sam leaned down, catching himself on the fridge as he opened it. 

The alcohol hit him harder than he anticipated. A small chuckle left his large form as he pulled the beer out. Sam popped the top off and ushered the liquid down his throat. His entire body felt warm and heavy. His hopes of feeling good had been achieved. 

With a few steps Sam was at his bed in the room. He dropped his large form onto the worn mattress, and his head thunked against the head board. 

Sam rubbed his head as he chuckled.

He then adjusted and sipped at his beer, feeling his heart ache from the lack of you by his side. Sam set his beer on the bed side table and fumbled with his pocket. After adjusting again he was able to pull his phone free. 

The bright screen lit up his face and he blinked hard in an attempt to focus. Sam pulled up his email and began to type out the message to you leaving the subject blank. He made a list of questions that needed to be asked- that he needed to know. He knew that this would be the only time he’d feel comfortable asking, because any other time he’d know he wouldn’t have the guts to ask. 

But right now he was beyond hopeful. It might have been the alcohol giving him these hopes, but he didn’t care. He felt amazing and warm. 

Sam’s eyes scanned the contents trying to make sure it made a fraction of any sense, but gave up trying to figure out. 

The phone let out a small ding signaling the email had been sent. 

Sam blew air out of his lips and grabbed his beer again.

Sam typed another when no reply came, with a second ding echoing in the room. 

Sam’s eyes wouldn’t leave the screen of his phone as he drew his botton lip between his teeth in anticipation. 

And that was the site Dean came in to. 

“Dude if you’re watching porn I’ll leave." 

Sam shook his head and chuckled. "No,” he dragged out. His word were slurred as he spoke. “I emailed Y/N. Will you check it for me?” Standing up, he made his way over and shoved the phone into his brother’s hands. 

“Are you drunk?" 

"Pft. No. Are you? You’ve been out all night." 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Alright Sammy. Just sit down.” Dean got his brother back onto his bed as he looked over the message. It had been chock-full of typos. “Dude…. I’m going to be surprised if she even understands any of this…." 

Sam frowned and reached for the phone, "Lemme see." 

Dean kept it out of his reach, "No. You are just going to send another one…. Sam, you don’t need to be sending her emails while you’re drunk. Just wait until the morning?" 

Sam grumbled under his breath and laid back into the bed, "You suck." 

Dean shook his head and slid his brother’s phone into his back pocket, "How about we get you to sleep? How much have you had tonight anyways?" 

"I don’t need sleep… I need answers…. I need to know if she’s going to come back… If she still loves me… I fucked up Dean… I hurt those close to me and she was no exception." 

Dean pulled the blanket over his brother, "Clearly too much… Just rest…" 

Sam struggled to kick his shoes off and groaned, "But I miss her… I loved her…. I miss running–" 

"Whoa! I’m gonna stop you right there. For me and you both.” Dean removed his shoes and turned off the light. He then grabbed Sam’s beer and poured it out. 

A sigh escaped Dean’s lips as he noticed the empty Jaeger in the trash as he dropped the beer bottle in it. The glass clashing together wasn’t loud enough to wake Sam as he snored peacefully in his bed. 

Dean pulled the phone from his pocket. He let out a small groan as he noticed the other email that Sam had failed to show him that simply read: Why do you not reply?


	2. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of cheating

_**Least favorite[Song ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRZC_e7oRkg8&t=MDMwYTVmNjUxODJhMDE4MTE3OWIxMjljYjQ2Y2EzZGFlMGM1NWY0YyxGcVpIcHFkeg%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159129991163%2Fgold&m=1).** _

 

Tears fell down your face as you shook. Your heart was aching and you had no idea what to do. However, the only thing you could do was cling to Dean sobbing. 

The one person you thought would never betray you had done just that. Sam had took your heart and broke it. Soul or not it wasn’t acceptable. 

Dean hushed you and rubbed your back gently, “I can’t justify what he did…. But I’m sure Sam will realize he messed up.”

“There’s nothing he can do… Nothing he can say that will fix this Dean…. I can’t trust him…. Not after he’s been sleeping with other women for a year… And he didn’t even try to find me…." 

Dean sighed and kissed the top of your head, "I know…. I know…" 

You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face, "Maybe I should just end this with him… I can’t keep doing this. I’m not going to pretend it’s okay even after he gets his soul back." 

Dean gulped. 

Halfway through your decision Sam had walked in. 

Sam seemed to shrink in the doorway and he was thoroughly confused, "You thought I was dead while I was gone. So I didn’t really cheat on you. I don’t see what the problem is." 

Dean’s expression hardened, "That still doesn’t make it okay Sam." 

Sam shrugged, "Well I’m sorry." 

"You don’t even mean it…. Don’t apologize if it’s not how you truly feel." 

Sam glared a bit, "Oh boo hoo. Just be happy I’m apologizing. You thought I was dead. I wanted you out of this life.

There’s no harm in sleeping with other women." 

You quickly rose to your feet, "I loved you Sam! Hell I still do! And the fact that you just easily slept with women for a year!? Soul or not that’s not an excuse!" 

"So I don’t love you for letting you live your life peacefully, and letting you go. Great. So I’m a selfish dick." 

You sighed, "That’s not my point…. You easily moved on is what my point is. You clearly don’t love me." 

"Are you serious right now? You think I don’t love you? Fine…. If you really think I don’t love you then get out." 

You grabbed your bag and brushed past him, "Goodbye Sam." 

Sam quickly grabbed your arm, he hadn’t fully considered you would actually leave, "Wait… Don’t…." 

Had his soul actually been in his body he would feel completly hurt and upset that you fully thought that, instead all he could feel was his stomach knotting up. 

"Why not Sam? You don’t love me." 

Sam chuckled a bit, "I do I just can’t feel it. Besides, I am sorry. I just wanted you to stay out of this hunting bullshit. I’ve gotten so many people killed and I didn’t want you to be next. Stay. Work with me, we will get this fixed.”


	3. Somebody to Love

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DquMlRhlVR3I&t=YzEzMzQ2YTYxY2VjNjUwOGJiMzZiYTE5ZDBhMzg5NWIwMGQzYjMwNSxNaktYejdvMA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159172968983%2Fsomebody-to-love&m=1) that makes you happy.** _

 

The bar was full of those wanting to forget their troubles for a couple of hours, and the exceptional few for the whole night. You and your friends had come in after all having a long, stressful day at work. You had looked forward to it since eight in the morning.   
  
 _I work hard every day of my life  
I work till I ache in my bones_

Things were piling up on your shoulders and weighing you down. It never helped when the few friends you had talked about their relationships or even the intimate business of it all. While some of their stories made you laugh or even envious, it did get tiring after awhile. And your private sessions could only do so much. You were hoping that tonight you could at least find a little bit of company. While one night flings had never been something you wanted to do, you had finally broke and decided to cave. 

You decided to by the first round. 

_At the end  
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own_

Shots were taken at a decent pace. You and your group spaced them out for talking about work and everything else stressing you out. 

 _I get down on my knees_  
And I start to pray  
Till the tears run down from my eyes

The buzz of the alcohol was hitting you, “I decided that tonight will be the night I finally have a one night fling."   
Your friends were pretty surprised, one of your friends in particular had wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

_Lord somebody, ooh somebody_

Within a few more drinks the whole party was buzzed and hitting that mark of ‘let’s do this, it’ll be so fun’ mark. The shots had no longer been a decent pacing. 

_Everyday I try and I try and I try  
But everybody wants to put me down_

"So why did you decide for a fling? Finally give up on waiting for someone,” Emily slurred out. 

Your best friend, Amalee, had elbowed her and gave her a look. 

 _They say I’m going crazy_  
They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Ah, got no common sense  
I got nobody left to believe in  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Emily mumbled an apology and you waved your hand as if it were nothing; although hurt and disappointment pained at your stomach. It was clear to them that you had seemed to give up. Not that you had given up. You were fine with waiting, but admitedly you missed having someone- having someone laying next to you. But right now yourself alone just wasn’t cutting it. 

After the small awkward moment, Amalee bought everyone a round of shots and drinks. Along with more alcohol, came the idea of karaoke. Shots were downed and mixed drinks were taken to the small stage. Everyone in the group was at that point of feeling good- feeling so good you wanted everyone to know. And what better way that drunken karaoke? It could either go really well, or really wrong. Either way, you’d feel like a star. 

 _Oh Lord_  
Ooh somebody, ooh somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Each person in the group began pointing people out while waiting for their turn, but no one really seemed to peak your interest. Besides, they were probably married or already flirting with another woman. 

Amalee had finished singing Avril Lavigne and approached the small table you were all at. 

“Your turn, Y/N! Go up there and rock it!" 

You chuckled and looped your arm around her shoulder, "And what makes you think I’ll do it?" 

"You’re a chicken if you don’t,” she slurred out. 

Amalee’s slurring had been the worst. She was the light weight out of all of you. You on the other hand had the better tolerance. And she knew what all you would do when you were drunk. 

You straightened up and removed your arm, “I am no chicken and I’ll prove it. In fact I’ll one up your’s.” You swiftly downed the shot before downing your mixed drink. 

Amalee whistled at you as you took the stage. You found the song and entered it in, swaying a bit when the music began to play. You were singing at the top of your lungs. 

_Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat_

It seemed like the whole bar had whistled and joined in. A smile spread across your face even though you knew you weren’t the best singer. You felt like you were probably killing their ear drums. But hey, they were wasted and so were you. So that boosted your confidence. 

 _I’m okay, I’m alright_  
I ain’t gonna face no defeat   
I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
One day, I’m gonna be free Lord!

The song ended and your friends clapped, you stepped off the stage and towards them. Emily decided to get even more shots and mixed drinks. This time you all took two shots and sipped on your drinks. 

The night had finally decided to reach it’s end at midnight. Even with the weekend off, most of your friends had things to tend to Saturday. You all headed for the door. 

“Crap I need my bag,” you said quickly. 

“We’ll be outside waiting for you." 

_Find me somebody to love_

You nodded to Amalee and hurried back to the table. You slung your bag over your shoulder and headed for the door. 

Just as you were about to open the door to leave, the door was pulled open. 

 _Find me, find me, find me somebody to love_  
Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!   
Somebody find me, somebody find me love

Two men were going to enter the building. Both were over six foot. The shorter of the two flashed you a smile, but it went out of mind as you were distracted by the tallest. His hazel eyes and awkward smile had haulted you. All you could think about was straddling his large frame and feeling his large hands gripping your waist, clawing down your back, and tangling in your hair. 

"Excuse me, do you mind if we come through,” the mysterious, gorgeous man asked. 

“I uh- yeah sure…” You stepped away and let them in. 

The shorter one smirked, “Leaving so soon? Why not have a few drinks with us?”


	4. Slipped Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This contains the death of one of the reader's parents.

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dsh-MYtENchs&t=ZjRiMjk1ZTAyN2VhMDA0MzI0ZDZiMzg3MzBhY2VjOTlmYjk1ZmU1NCx6TjhKZXdaNg%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159210801068%2Fslipped-away&m=1) that makes you sad.** _

 

The day you became a hunter you know there’d be risks that anyone you loved, or held dearly would be thrown into a possible line of danger. While part of you was prepared for it to happen, you never truly understood just how unprepared you really were when it hit. 

Out of the entire two years with the Winchesters you didn’t expect for you or anyone in your family to be a target again. At least since they had saved you. 

It wasn’t your first time being saved by them. The first time had been years ago, but you were just around when it happened. You were accidentally thrown into the crossfire with a cursed object. 

You thought it’d be the last time you’d see them until two years ago. You needed their help and they came to the rescue. Their jobs remained the same, but they had aged. Of course fighting could do that to a person. They weren’t like they used to be. Far more powerful this time, and more knowledge under their wings. 

You had a couple of drinks after they finished their hunt. Chatting and catching up. They had a lot going on in their lives, and in that moment they enjoyed seeing a friendly face. They enjoyed getting to spend a couple of hours trying to rid some of the weight on their shoulders. But this time instead of parting ways, you convinced them to let you in. You were tired of needing saved. Your excuse was to protect those you loved, and to help yourself next time when it came. But it didn’t. Instead of staying home, you helped fight the Leviathans. And then when Dean disappeared you stuck around and helped Sam. The two of you had feelings for one another, but nothing was said until you were his rock of support. And needless to say you fell hard. The two of you got a place together and Sam even proposed. There was long talks of the ‘apple pie life’ together. Having kids and a dog. But those were just talks- just hopes and dreams. They were no longer goals when Dean came back from Purgatory. 

Since then it had been a whole other fight. Angel and demon tablets. Trials… And they were leaving Sam in a horrible condition. 

Sam found a way to cure a demon and figuring out how to do just that. Instead the three of you lost Abbadon and decided to use Crowley. But Crowley had other plans in mind…. He was killing those they’d saved. Tommy and Jenny were the first two. 

Now you were on your way to the next victim Crowley had warned you about this time. 

Indianapolis. A couple of hours away from your home town. 

Dean had pracitcally raced there and the three of you hurried to the motel room you were given. Dean was the one to knock, and the person to answer the door practically left you frozen in your tracks. 

“Dad,” you asked finally.

The sound of your voice surprised you. It was strong but clearly full of emotion. You were confused and most of all scared. You were the one they saved. So it didn’t make since why Crowley would use your father. 

Your father let the three of you into the room, “I’d say you three came to party and vacation with me, but it’s probably not a good thing…." 

Dean quickly got to making the room demon proofed, and it finally hit you. 

Crowley was using your father to get to all of you on a personal level. More than just some people they saved. This one had meant something. It was leverage that would get you to cave. 

Sam shook his head, "Not really no… But we’re going to protect you. We’ve got an exorcism on loop ready to go. And anything that comes through that door is meat." 

Sam grabbed the gun, ready to go. Dean had followed suit when he finished spraying. You realized you were barely breathing until Dean handed you a gun. Dean frowned when he noticed your shaking.

"We’ll do anything to keep you safe." 

Your dad nodded his head, "Thank you. But if it’s my time to go–" 

"No. God no… Dad it’s not your time…." 

You hoped your voice would’ve been strong and brave but it came out in a cracked panic. 

He gave you a hug and told you he loved you. 

It took so much strength to even say it back. 

All you could think about was the memories with him, and even with the boys. He had given them so much shit. Especially Sam, but he liked them. Always teased Sam for his long hair. Dean was fond of him not just for teasing Sam, but his taste in music and being a car guy. 

However you were snapped from your memories when the phone began to ring. Dean answered it and set it on speaker. Before you knew it Crowley was counting down. Within five seconds it was midnight and your father began choking. 

"Son of a bitch,” growled Dean.

“Son of a witch actually. My mommy taught me a few tricks.”

“It’s a spell. Find the hex bag,” hollered Sam. 

You dropped to your knees, “D- Dad no…. Please hang on… We’re gonna save you…." 

Dean and Sam began to tear the motel room apart in search for the bag. As the seconds ticked by his face got redder. All you could hear besides your heart beating and your father’s gasps was Crowley’s voice. Soon your father’s fight was over and he was no longer breathing. 

"D- Dad….. No…. Please no…." 

"You want to keep those people alive. I want complete and utter surrender. The tablet, the trials- you’ll give them up, or we’ll keep doing this dance. Your choice, my darlings." 

Suddenly the call ended and Dean throwing the phone against the wall startled you. When it crashed to the floor what came with it’s pieces was the hex bag. 

Your shaking had intensified as tears began to roll down your cheeks. 

Dean gulped thickly as Sam slowly approached you. You drew in a shakey breath, suddenly breaking. Even if you wanted to be strong and put on a brave face you just couldn’t. 

Your sobs filled the room as Dean’s fist clenched. He was beyond pissed. 

Sam gently rested a hand on your back and spoke softly, "Y/N….”

You turned and clung onto Sam, weeping into his shoulder. 

“We’ll burn his body later okay? For now let’s get you calmed down.” Sam enveloped you in his arms and gently lifted you out to the car. 

Dean followed the two of you out and shut the door, “I promise we will stop him Y/N…." 

Your jaw clenched a bit. Your voice was weak as you spoke through gritted teeth, "I’ll make him pay….”


	5. Simple Man

_**[Song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVa0PAMNWSis&t=MmQzMDgwZWRkMjQzMzYwM2Q4MjUzYTMxYmZjMzUyNWExMjE2OTYwYSw2OUJpS1Z3YQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159253290463%2Fsimple-man&m=1) that reminds you of someone. ** _

 

Dean was stuffing his face with a burrito as he drove, eyes focused on the road. Sam was spitting out directions and where to go from the passenger seat. Dean nodded and glanced to the rearview mirror at you. 

You had taken your place in the back doing some research on what the three of you would be hunting. Finding all that you could on the case. 

“How’s it going back there Y/N?”

“Looks like it could be mermaids or even sirens." 

Dean frowned a bit, "I thought mermaids were the imaginary friends…." 

Sam nodded, "They are. So we’re dealing with a siren then?" 

You frowned and leaned forward onto the back of their seat, "Well not entirely…. They seem to have taken their victims to the water though…." 

Sam’s brows furrowed into confusion, and you snatched his drink to take a sip. 

"Hey! Don’t you have- you drank it all didn’t you?" 

"To be fair I told Dean to get me a drink with my slushie…." 

Sam chuckled and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, causing a groan to erupt from Dean. 

You snickered and tossed your phone to the seat behind you, "Well I give up for now… We won’t be able to know until we get there in- 1,200 miles!?" 

"Hey we’re almost out of Illinois, Y/N. Chill,” Dean said simply. 

“Yeah and it’s getting late Dean. You know I hate being in a car this long…." 

Dean mimicked your voice causing you to smack his shoulder. Sam chuckled a bit. 

"Your fault for joining us." 

You rolled your eyes and slumped into your seat, "Can you at least turn on the radio? While I love Metallica I really don’t wanna hear that album all over again." 

Dean shook his head and shoved the rest of his burrito in his mouth, tossing the wrapper into the bag. 

Sam flashed you a smile and turned on the radio. You pouted when you heard the commercial. Thankfully it changed and the host began speaking. Soon Simple Man began playing. You smiled and began singing along. 

The song made you both happy and sad all at once. It reminded you of the time your dad was drunk and singing along in another room. When he’d stop you’d pick up and vice versa. 

Sam smiled at the sound of your voice. He decided to join in. 

"Take your time…. Don’t live too fast. Troubles will come, and they will pass. Go find a woman, and you’ll find love,” the two of you harmonized. 

Dean joined in at the top of his lungs, “And don’t forget son, there is someone up above." 

Sam chuckled and the three of you sang at the top of your lungs until the song ended. 

You settled back into your seat yawning. Sam glanced back at you and unbuckled his seat belt. He glanced to his brother before climbing into the back with you. 

"Sam what the hell!?" 

"What?" 

"Climbing over the seat! Warn a guy next time,” huffed Dean as he drove. 

Sam shook his head and relaxed next to you. You were happy to have your husband next to you. Sam pulled you closer as you relaxed into his warmth. The music from the radio had lulled you to sleep. 

Sam made sure to lay you down with your head in his lap. He began to absentmindedly play with your hair until he himself fell asleep. 

For most of the night Dean had drove until he needed a power nap. 

* * *

The three of you were suited up to play FBI as you spoke to the families. It had appeared that the person classified as missing was actually missing or found dead. With all the gathered information the three of you decided to split up. 

“I’ll head to the beach where the bodies were found. You two go handle the morgue." 

"Call us if anything happens,” you reminded. 

Dean waved his hand, “Yeah, yeah. I know." 

At that the two of you headed off. You tried to find all that you could on the bodies. Well, what was left of the body. It had been dismantled and seemed to have pieces gone. Probably in the stomachs of whatever monster had handled them. 

You made a face as you lifted one of the bags containing a hand, "This is just gross….. What do we know that does this?"   
Sam mirrored the same expression as he observed, "Well Siren’s don’t exactly do this sorta thing…. Unless they wanted the person under the venom to do this…." 

You shivered a bit and set the bag down, "God this is so weird…." 

Sam forced a small smile, "You can say that again… Wait…” His brows knitted together as he held the bag closer to his face and into the light. “There’s scales on this…" 

You hummed a bit, "So I guess mermaids are more than just imaginary friends?" 

"I guess so….  I’ll go call Dean." 

You nodded and Sam stepped into the hallway. You returned your focus onto the parts, looking at the teeth marks.   
Sam frowned a bit when Dean didn’t pick up. 

He huffed and stepped back into the room, "So I think he’s down at the beach flirting instead of checking…. He’s not answering…” Sam frowned and walked closer, “Y/N?" 

When you didn’t answer he rested a hand on your shoulder, "Y/N?" 

"Hm?” You looked up at him to see the concern all in his face, “Oh sorry. Just focused. Does this look like a shark bite to you?" 

Sam’s brows furrowed even more as he looked from you to the marks. His eyes scanned over all it before his jaw clenched a bit and he gulped, "Yeah…. It does…" 

You quickly looked from the bag and back to him, "Then it’s not a mermaid. And we might be able to kill it." 

"Wait, how do you know for sure?" 

You quickly led him to the door. He held it open and followed you out, He nodded to the mortician and thanked him. The two of you hurried for the outside. 

"Because one day while I was sick and you two were out hunting, Bobby and I were talking. He happened to tell me about the time he was on a Japanese Merchant Ship. The "Nishigo Maru” to be exact. They’re something called Ondines. They’re mermaid-like creatures. Shark teeth, scales, and a fish tail. Said he shot her twice and it didn’t work.“ 

Sam made a face and climbed into the car with you, "Okay? So what kills them?" 

"Well that we don’t know…. He thought heat or suffocation might work. So we’ll have to try that out. Only issue is they don’t like cheaters…." 

"So Dean might be a target then…. Great." 

Sam quickly drove back for the beach hoping his brother would be fine. 

Sam pulled up and parked; the two of you exiting. 

You quickly hurried only to find Dean running towards you. 

"What took you so long!? This crazy bitch tried dragging me under!" 

"So they shapeshift too,” Sam asked with a raised brow. 

“Yep… So uh Dean, where is she now?" 

"In the freaking ocean! Where else would she be!?" 

You took a deep breath thinking of a way to lure her out, "We need you to go back in the ocean?" 

"What!? Are you crazy? She can drown me!" 

"Dean just do it. We need to capture her and kill her." 

Dean grumbled and went back in. You and Sam stood on the shore, ready in case Dean needed it. Dean swam out a bit and gave you two a nod, waiting. Before you knew it she dried dragging Dean under again. This time he was smart enough to grab her. 

It was all a good plan until she changed and swam under with Dean. The two of you scrabbled to save him. 

Dean pulled a knife from his jacket and cut at her, getting free. On his way to the surface he yanked her with. 

It took all three of you to get her out of the water and onto the shore. With quick efforts she was tied up and in the trunk. 

The three of you stripped down to your undergarments, and climbed into dry clothes before driving out to the middle of no where to light her up. 

You crossed your fingers hoping the fire would work, and thankfully it did. With the odd smell of fish and burnt flesh the three of you headed back to the car. 

This time Sam settled with you in the backseat. You were curled up close to him and Dean turned the car over. Baby roared to life and he flipped on the radio. A small chuckle escaped your lips as Simple Man began to play. 

"Where to next?" 

Dean hummed, "Home. Unless we find another hunt." 


	6. I Like It Like That

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DlbvzkdYqJDc&t=OTk5MTE1ZDNiNGM3ZDFiZmNkMGVjYjIyMTU4ZTE5MDczOWI0YWNlZixqWjVTQURTdQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159285047103%2Fi-like-it-like-that&m=1) that reminds you of somewhere.** _

 

You were sprawled on the floor with a pillow under your chest, and your legs swinging back and forth. With a controller in hand, your eyes were fixed on the TV. Sam was beside you playing as well. Music could be heard throughout the house while Dean was out back. 

It was summer vacation and Dean decided to throw a pool party. Everyone who was cool could be caught dead at this party. However, Sam wasn’t the partying type and invited you over. 

The shot of a sniper fired from the TV and you grumbled under you breath. Gently setting the aside the controler, you decided to push yourself to your feet. 

“I’m going to the kitchen to grab a drink, do you want anything?" 

Sam hummed in thought as his eyes were trained to the TV. He was working on getting your team points, "Uh just water please?" 

"Sure thing,” you said with a smile. 

You made your way through the house and into the kitchen. You opened the fridge just in time for Dean to come in. He was shirtless and sunglasses covered his eyes. Water lightly dripped onto the floor, making a trail where he walked. 

“Hey leave the water alone. Come out back and party with us?" 

You looked up from the bottom crisper to him, water still in hand, "While I’d love to party Dean, I’m here for your brother." 

Dean chuckled and handed you a beer as you shut the fridge, "Come on Sweetheart! I know where my mom packed your bikini from last time you were here." 

You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head, "Yeah well that was last time. I’m not going out there with all those college and senior girls. I’d rather not hear the rude comments during summer. I’d especially not like to hear it at a place I go to escape everything." 

Dean pulled his sunglasses off and gave you that famous puppy face. 

It was a face that any woman couldn’t resist, his mom included. It’s how she even agreed to letting him throw the party while she was away with John for the week. 

"Okay, okay…. Fine! If I put on my bikini and hang out for five minutes will you not pull that look on me again?" 

Dean pursed his lips in thought and sipped at his own beer, "I think I can live with that." 

You watched him head for the door, pausing in the door way to turn back. 

"Oh and Sweetheart, don’t forget Sammy." 

You rolled your eyes and headed back up to Sam’s room. He glanced up at you in the door way. He smiled but it then dropped a bit. 

"Where’d you get the beer?" 

"Oh shit… I forgot I was still holding this. Dean gave it to me in the kitchen." 

You watched Sam put the controller down and lean back on his hands. He was staring at you with those hazel eyes and eyebrows shot up in curiousity. 

"Are you gonna head out there and join them?" 

You shrugged and stepped into the room, handing him his water. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he took a swig before setting it aside. 

"Well we can head out there if you want?" 

You chuckled a bit, "Five minutes. Only because Dean pulled the puppy eyes on me." 

Sam chuckled, his eyes darting down to your lips before he pulled you close by your arm. 

"What happens if I give you my puppy eyes,” he asked as his lips just barely grazed your’s. 

You hummed in thought before giving his lips a peck, “A little show." 

One brow shot up in curiousity at you before he thought it over. His jaw clenched at the thought of it. You stood up smirking and headed for the door, "So where does your mom keep the stuff I leave here?" 

Sam blinked a bit and stood up wiping his hands on his jeans, "Oh uh… I’ll show you…" 

He brushed past you and lead you to his parents room. He pulled out a small container in their closet. 

You pulled out your swimsuit thanking him. 

Sam nodded before heading back to his room. You took the chance to change before heading out to the back yard in swimsuits with him. 

Dean smiled when he saw you two come outside. He headed over and wrapped an arm around his brother, "Come on Sammy! Have a beer!" 

Sam chuckled a bit and took a beer from his brother. You sipped your beer before Dean nudged you towards the beer pong table. 

"Go on. Go have fun. I’ll keep your boyfriend occupied,” offered Dean. 

Before you could protest Jo dragged you off. You were more comfortable since it had been Jo. The two of you had become really good friends.   
“Play some beer pong with me. We need to kick these dudes asses!" 

You chuckled and that’s what you did. The two of you kicked butt in beer pong! 

Dean appeared and took the two of you to a game of spin the bottle with shots. Sam frowned and came over. 

"Dean this isn’t a good idea…" 

"Come on Sammy! Y/N needs to know her limits! Everytime she’s drank it’s always a couple of beers. It’s summer let her drink!" 

Sam sighed knowing he couldn’t convince his brother otherwise. 

The four of you decided to join the game. You’d take turns spinning the bottle and taking a shot of the mystery alcohol. Jo had a decent buzz going on. Dean and Sam had the higher tolerance out of the four of you. You sadly were drunk. You usually refused to get shit faced. Especially since your father used to be an alcoholic when you were younger. 

Nonetheless, Dean got his wish. You were way past your limit. 

You were on Jo’s shoulders in the pool playing chicken with two other girls. 

Sam sighed and shook his head. 

"What? She’s having fun!" 

"Yeah but she’s totally wasted…. You know how she feels about alcohol Dean." 

"Relax Sammy. What matters is she’s enjoying herself." 

Sam huffed and headed inside. 

The other girls fell and you and Jo cheered happily. Jo lowered herself into the water so you could get off. Once you were off you got out and swayed towards Dean. You wrapped an arm around him laughing. 

"Where’s Sammy?" 

Dean chuckled, "Sammy went inside." 

You pouted, "I gotta go get ‘em!" 

Dean patted your back and handed you the drink he was holding. 

"Thanks,” you said taking the red cup before heading inside. 

You were drinking it when you found Sam in his room. He was already changed into a pair of sweatpants and a vneck. You hummed happily and set the drink on his dresser. 

Sam looked up from his book at you, “Hey, done already?" 

"I don’t wanna be out there without." 

You slumped next to him on his bed and he chuckled softly. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"I feel- good! Except I’m really sad you left. You didn’t tell me." 

You gave him a pout and he lightly swiped his thumb across your cheek. 

"I’ll be sure to tell you next time then, Baby." 

You watched his features fall a bit, "What?" 

"Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You’re a bit pale…." 

"I feel fi- oh god…." 

You quickly got up and hurried for the door. 

Sam practically tossed his book onto his bedside table and grabbed his trashcan. He held it out for you and you hurled right into it. Sam was careful to make sure your hair stayed out of your way. 

You let out a small groan, "I’m sorry…." 

Sam sighed a bit, "Hey it’s okay. Not your fault… Let’s get you to the bathroom.. I’ll go throw this bag out, get you some water, and some asprin." 

You gave him a small nod and headed for the bathroom.

Sam quickly went to take care of what he needed so he could be by your side. 

In the meantime, you kept throwing up into the toilet. It was officially the worst party you’ve ever been to. It was hard to turn away the alcohol when you were drunk from playing the shots game. And you didn’t even expect it all to hit you that hard. 

Sam came back to find you resting your head on your arm, "I got you some water and asprin…" 

You groaned a bit in response as tears fell down your face from vomitting. That and you were turning into the emotional drunk. 

"Thank you… I’m so sorry you have to take care of me…. You have to babysit me and I’m so sorry…. You could be out there having fun but you have to help me." 

Sam frowned and rubbed your back, "Hey, I don’t mind taking care of you, Y/N. You’re my girlfriend. You’re only in this position because of Dean. And besides, I’d rather be hanging out with you, even if that means 'babysitting’ you." 

You gave him a small smile and pushed yourself up off the floor. You rinsed your mouth out and washed your hands. 

"Can you help me outta this?" 

Sam smiled a bit, "Let me take you to my room first?" 

You nodded and he grabbed the medicine and water. On the way back to his room he grabbed you a change of clothes. 

Once in the safey of his room with a locked door, he helped you out of your swimsuit. 

Goosebumps began to cover your skin as you slightly shivered. Sam quickly helped you into a pair of underwear, a pair of your sweats, and one of his shirts. 

Sam helped you get comfortable in his bed. He made sure to keep the water, asprin, and trashcan beside his bed for you. He even made sure you’d fall asleep the right way that way if you were to vomit, you wouldn’t choke on it.   
Sam tucked himself beside you and you were practically out quicker than he anticipated. 

A smile spread across his face as he heard your snoring. He placed a gentle kiss to your head before attempting to fall asleep himself. 


	7. Come Together

_**[Song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRMdD8MwUQpw&t=YjQyMGVkNTg5YzhhMGZhNWYwM2FhNTBiZWNmNDFhYTJlM2Q4MmY0NCxuV1lDc0t3aQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159323320773%2Fcome-together&m=1) that reminds you of a certain event.** _

 

It should’ve been a day you looked forward to. You all were taking the night off to have a movie night. It was something that first started between Sam and Dean, and then you and Cas joined. 

Sadly, your good mood and excitement had gone through the window. You woke up in a crabby mood as your uterus began to cramp up. It seemed that Satan had decided to stop by and throw a mad rave party inside of your womb. 

So you spent a majority of the day lazing around the bunker and took a hot shower in hopes to ease the cramps. 

By the time five o'clock rolled around you wanted nothing to do with movie night. 

Sam, Dean, and Cas on the other hand were really looking forward to it. They spent most of their day busy around the bunker. 

Sam had woke up early to work out and make breakfast. When Dean woke up they both had breakfast before Dean went to wash Baby up and fix her up. Sam decided to tackle the library. It had been a mess from the latest hunt. Books were scattered along with papers all over the tables. 

Meanwhile Cas was out doing a run, finding snacks for later. 

Sam and Dean picked out their movie choices for the night. Cas was still trying to decide when Sam came to the room. 

“Hey, come pick your movie,” Sam frowned when he saw you curled up in bed, “What’s wrong?" 

"Satan and stupid rave parties…. Stupid uterus. Can I just cut it out? I’ll clean the knife when I’m done." 

Sam chuckled and approached the bed, "No we can’t do that. I’d rather not lose you to your failed attempt at surgery on yourself." 

You glared up at him from your cocoon under the blanket. 

Sam smiled even more and removed the covers. As soon as the draft hit you, you whacked him with the stuffed alpaca that had been hidden in your arms. 

"Ah! Hey! No, put the alpaca down!" 

"It’s cold in here Sam!" 

Sam hummed in thought and stood up. He quickly took off his shirt and tossed it at you. He grabbed another shirt so Dean wouldn’t complain. 

You smiled a bit and switched your shirt out for his, humming happily when his scent hit your nose. It was woodsy and musky- it was pure Sam. You could feel your heart beating against your chest, the pounding intensified when he lifted you up into his warm embrace. 

"But my cocoon!" 

Sam chuckled and effortlessly took you to the room you’d all be watching the movies. 

Dean smiled when Sam brought you into the room, "About time! Y/N, pick a movie!" 

Cas hummed and finally pulled his choice out. 

Sam looked to the snacks on the table and frowned, "Cas did you forget the sour candy?" 

Cas looked to the table and scowled, "I guess I did…." 

"It’s okay,” you mumbled out. 

Sam shook his head and set you into the chair, “I’ll run out and–" 

"No." 

Sam gave you a look, "Are you sure?" 

"Right now I just wanna curl up and die so I’m sure. Just hold me please?" 

Cas frowned, "Why would you want to die? You humans have so much to live for and life is so amazing." 

"Cas I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t mean literally." 

Cas tilted his head, "Then what do you mean?" 

Sam chuckled and joined you in the seat. You adjusted so you were relaxed in his lap. 

"She’s on her period Cas,” Dean said simply. “Which means she’s probably gonna pick a sappy, lovey dovey movie." 

You rolled your eyes, "Actually you’re wrong. You’re doing that for me. Cas, that movie right there." 

You pointed to one on the shelf. Cas reached for it. 

"This one?" 

You nodded and he pulled it out, "That’s my choice." 

Dean hummed, "Well since you’re…. doing your thing, your’s can go last." 

Sam rolled his eyes and noticed you balling your hand up into a fist. 

Cas put in Sam’s movie and then looked to the table, "I’ll be back." 

"Where are you- or not,” sighed Dean. 

Cas already left and quickly returned with sour straws. He dropped them into your lap and then took his seat. 

You smiled happily, “Thanks Cas." 

Dean grabbed his snacks and then groaned at Sam’s movie choice, "A cheesy horror film really?" 

"Yeah! It’s a classic!" 

"If I wanted to watch a classic horror movie I’d strap you to that chair and put on It." 

Sam stiffened up and gulped a bit. 

You kissed his temple and opened your candy, your mood improving a bit. 

You weren’t the normal type to crave something sweet like chocolate. Instead, you wanted something sour like shockers or even on the occasion you’d want Twizzlers. 

You focused your attention on Sam’s horror movie choice as you nibbled on your candy. 

Sam hummed a bit and kissed your head before ‘sneakily’ taking a piece. 

You smiled as he ate the piece, trying to make sure you wouldn’t kill him for touching it. 

Another wave of cramps hit, causing you to whimper. 

Sam frowned a bit and pushed the shirt up, exposing your stomach. He began to rub your stomach where the hem of your underwear sat. 

You leaned into him more, a soft sigh escaping your lips. 

Sam smiled and kissed your head as he countinued to soothe your cramps. He then pushed his left hand into your hair. 

He began to gently massage your scalp with the pads of his fingers and rake them through your hair. 

Within hours the movie choices were all went through. Dean had left for his room and Cas left to do his angel thing. 

You and Sam were still curled up in the chair. His arm was draped over your small frame, his hazel eyes staring directly into you eyes, a dopey smile across his face. 

"What?" 

"I just love you." 

You smiled, "I love you too Sam." 

Sam nuzzled you gently, "Maybe one day I’ll be rubbing your swollen stomach." 


	8. Dreaming Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This contains abuse and blood.  
> Flashbacks are also in italics.

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dl0qWjHP1GQc&t=MTYwMjFlYzFlM2JiNTA0MWNlZThhMjMwMGRhMjU4MTQ4NmYzMmMxOCxkMTJXbE5HdA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159359726503%2Fdreaming-alone&m=1) you know all the words to. ** _

 

Days while on the road aren’t always the best or easiest. Some hunts go weary and end up in a loss of blood. But saving the lives of those in need are what makes it worth while. Killing what goes bump in the night seems to make the world a little more peaceful. Even on the good days it’s still a struggle. And Dean has noticed. 

Dean has noticed for the past few months how hard it’s been for Sam. Getting up in the morning is a struggle, having an appetite has been slim; and even when he is fully focused on the hunt, he still seems to be off. 

It had been months since he let you go. He’d show up to your place bloody and bruised from hunts. He’d even run to you just to stop by to see you. 

It all started when you moved into your house. There was an item left behind and a vengeful spirit had gotten out of control. Since then you’d kept in contact with the younger Winchester. 

Never did either of you expect to feel the way that you did. To say you fell hard was a complete understatement… 

It didn’t take long for the random visits to become more planned.  

After awhile Sam had talked with Dean about you joining. 

_“Please at least think about it Dean? I’ve told her everything there is to know. I’ve taught her all that I could. Please, I’m begging you.“  
_

_Dean let out a sigh, "Alright, alright! Fine. I’ll think it over…. But you seriously need to think this through Sammy. She could slow us down. She could be used as leverage…. Hell she might even get hurt or die… Are you really ready to take those chances?"  
_

_Sam’s shoulders dropped at the mention of dying. Worry set into his mind as he took a slow breath, "I- I am… I love her Dean…. I want to protect her and not be out worrying whether something will hunt her down or not. I’d rather her be by my side."  
_

_Dean caved from the practical puppy face on his younger brother, "Then go get her."_

The hunting life with the two was going well. They taught you how to fight, use any weapon, and even how to clean the guns. 

Two had become three. Dean and Sam no longer had themselves and each other to worry about. They had you as well. Which meant thrice the patching up. 

But with another person, came more opinions and more stubborness. It was far more difficult when all three of you were firm believers in what you supported. Which caused either two or all three of you to buttheads. Arguments would happen and you’d all separate. Even on the occasion, you’d all split off your own way. Sometimes you’d be with Sam, other’s you wouldn’t. 

Even though it wasn’t the perfect relationship or even a ‘storybook’ romance, the two of you made it work.

However, everything that starts must have an end; whether it’s good or bad. And sadly the story that all started with Sam, also ends the same. 

Sam thought he was ready and could handle anything that happened with you being a hunter, but boy was he wrong. When your life was put in danger he had to put an end to it. 

_Sam and Dean were quick to your aid. You were tied to a chair slumped over from the pain, and your breathing was slowed. The ghoul was making cuts to drain your blood out.  
_

_Sam growled and was about to shoot the ghoul when the other one hit him in the back of the head. Dean reacted quickly fighting the ghoul. It had knocked his gun away, and he was left fist fighting until he could get his gun or even anything to damage the head. Sam struggled to his feet and pulled his knife out, going straight for the ghoul behind you. However the ghoul used it’s knife and pressed it to your neck.  
_

_"Make another move and she will be gone."  
_

_Sam gulped thickly as he froze. He slowly put the knife down liked the ghoul asked, eyes glued to your weak form.  
_

_Dean had luckily got his gun back and shot the second ghoul. The one with the knife told Dean to slide his gun towards him. Dean had no other choice but to oblige to his orders. The gun gently thumped the chair leg by your foot. The ghoul slowly reached down to grab it, but Sam was quicker. He shot the ghoul in the head, but the ghoul knew what he was doing. Luckily the knife barely grazed your skin.  
_

_Sam quickly tore his shirt off and used his knife to cut up the fabric into strips. He then used them to apply pressure to your wounds. He then pressed his hand gently to the small nick on your neck to help stop the small amout of blood. You had already lost enough and he didn’t want even this small cut to be your end.  
_

_He worked quickly as his hands shook; once he inspected his work, and made sure he didn’t miss anything he cupped your face.  
_

_"Y/N? Hey…"  
_

_Sam gently patted your cheek. He frowned as he looked at your now blood covered face.  
_

_"Dean…. Her breathing is really slow…."  
_

_Dean hurried over and helped Sam get you cut from the chair. Sam was about to lift you up but Dean stopped him.  
_

_He could see how badly he was shaking, so he carried you in Sam’s place.  
_

_They hurried you to the nearest hospital so you could get a transfusion._  

Sam had convinced Dean it was best for you to leave the hunter’s life. And the only way for you to leave and be free was for Sam to end things with you. They decided to leave your bag in the room and Sam wrote you a note. 

When you woke and read the note, you immediately called Sam. It resulted in a huge argument, and that was the last time you ever spoke to Sam. 

After you were released from the hospital you went to the closest motel. 

The first few nights had been rough, but then you met another out at the grocery store. It was a stereotypical, book romance. He convinced you to move in with him to get you out of the motel. And while you truly didn’t believe in taking things that quickly, you agreed. It had been a pretty eventful month and the two of you already knew so much. He helped you through the rough nights when you missed Sam. You even told yourself that you could grow to love this man. 

You enjoyed being away from the slummy motel and in his place. And the second month went almost as smoothly. 

But the third month turned into hell. You felt like your life turned upside even more if it were possible. The once caring shoulder to cry on was no longer gentle. He began to yell at you. 

He’d scream at the top of his lungs that you ‘needed to move on, that you were together.’ But he clearly didn’t understand. Even if you had felt somewhat happy you couldn’t easily forget Sam. 

He was a part of you and you felt like you saw him everywhere. You even saw him in your dreams. Part of you began to wish that your boyfriend was Sam. That Sam would knock on your door and fix everything. But it was all just a part of your dreams. 

Then the screaming had escalated. Soon he began to lay his hands on you. It started with squeezing your shoulders and shaking you in fits of anger. Then he started shoving you, slapping you, hitting you, kicking you, and even using whatever was in his hands to strike you. 

Sometimes it was drink glasses, plates, and one time it had even been a piece of sink piping. 

You no longer slept in a bed. 

You were left to the floor of whatever room you were knocked down in. Tears had ran down your face as bruises formed. 

Today wasn’t any different. You were curled up in the living room floor sobbing, craddling your broken hand that should be healing. Instead, he made it worse. 

You would leave, but you fear what would happen. You even fear what would happen if you called the police. 

Simultaneously, while you were sobbing on the floor, Sam returned to the bunker with Dean. 

About a month ago they came across it. 

However, it was an adjustment for Sam having his own room. For him, it was nice not having to share a room with Dean. It gave him the freedom to lay in his bed and stare at the cieling. 

Sam let out a worn out sigh as tears began to form. He quickly wiped them away and closed his eyes. 

All he could see and think about was you. He longed to feel your soft locks of hair under his finger tips as he brushed a stray piece behind your ear. He yearned to feel your soft lips pressed to his, and hear a gentle sigh escape your form as he brought you closer. All he could smell when he closed his eyes was your peach shampoo. All he could feel was your cold feet pressed to him and your gently breathing. 

Sam pulled his phone out and looked at the screen. Every part of him wanted to find you and track you down. Knock on whatever door you were at and kiss you. He wanted you back, but you were free from the suffering and pain. Or at least he thought. That he could hope. 

But even with the urge to find you, he knew this was best for. 

He closed his hazel eyes again. 

You cried and closed your eyes tightly.

The two of you began to fall asleep, dreaming the same dream. 


	9. Footloose

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DltrMfT4Qz5Y&t=OGM2YWI1NGM3OTJmYjJlOThkNGM0M2M4YzZkNDM3NDAzNmU5OWQ0NCx6ZFZucjZSRA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159403234713%2Ffootloose&m=1) you can dance to.** _

 

Dean sat outside in the Impala with an arm hanging out of the window. Metallica was playing from his radio as he tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. His eyes scanned the school yard for his younger brother. A small smile spread across his face when he saw the poster for PROM. 

Sam plopped into the passenger seat and shut the door, pulling Dean’s eyes from the nearby poster. 

“You going,” he asked as he motioned to the flyer. 

Sam sighed tiredly, “No I’m not Dean. It’s just some lame dance where everyone grinds on each other. And then the drinking? I’ll pass.” 

Dean hummed, “I see what it is now.” He put the car into drive and pulled away from the school. “You don’t have a date.” 

Sam gave him a look, “I just don’t wanna go.” 

“Come on Sam! I’m sure we can put something together. You should go!” 

“I already said I’m not.” 

Dean sighed, “Come on Sammy! It’s high school! It’s your senior year!” 

Sam shook his head and looked out the window, “That doesn’t justify anything. I still don’t want to go.” 

Dean frowned as he drove towards the motel, “Fine. I’m finding you a date and you’re going. Brother’s orders.”

* * *

Dean spent the next couple of days trying to find a date for his brother. Sadly most of the girls already had dates. 

Just when Dean was ready to give up, he saw you. 

You were sitting at the table reading a book when he approached. Dean took the place across from you and flashed his charming smile. 

You looked up at him curiously, “Can I help you with something?” 

Dean smiled, “I hope so.. Do you know Sam Winchester?” 

“Uh yeah… We have a few classes together.” 

Dean’s smile grew, “Perfect. Will you go to PROM with him? He doesn’t want to go and I told him I’d find him a date. Please?” 

You gave him a weird look, “If he doesn’t want to go you shouldn’t force him.” 

Dean sighed, “Please? My brother and I have moved around a lot so he hasn’t really had much of a normal high school experience…. Hell, we haven’t even had a normal life…. But I usually try to give him all that normal experience and make sure he takes it. So please go with him?” 

“I don’t–” 

“Please,” Dean interrupted, begging and pulling out the big guns. 

You sighed, caving from the green-eyed puppy look, “Fine…” 

Dean smiled, “Thank you!” He got up and started heading off, “He’ll pick you up at six!” 

“Okay…. Wait,” you called after him. “You need my address!” You quickly saved your place and hurried to him. You quickly wrote your address on his hand with your pen. 

Dean smiled, “Thanks.”

* * *

A week had passed and you were getting ready for PROM. While you didn’t really want to go either, a part of you was excited. 

You adjusted your dress and checked the time. It was almost six. 

Meanwhile Dean was pracitcally shoving Sam into a dress shirt and tie. 

“Dean cut it out! I can do it myself!” 

“You’re just going to take it off,” he said simply. 

Sam sighed, “I will put it on and pick her up! Just stop. Please?” 

Dean took a step back, holding his hands up, “Fine. Just don’t leave and then not take her? I don’t think you want to hurt her feelings.” 

Sam nodded and finished getting ready, “Can I borrow the Impala?” 

Dean smiled and handed him the keys, “Just take care of her?” 

“I will, relax,” Sam said simply as he headed out the door. 

It was a little after six and part of you was growing to be disappointed. Were you stood up? Did Sam’s brother just want to play with your heart? Hell did he want to embarrass you? 

However you couldn’t think too much into it when your mom hollered for you from downstairs. You quickly, but carefully headed down the steps. A big smile spread across your face when you saw Sam in the doorway. He was shy and awkward. 

Your mom was making small talk with him and begged for a picture of the two of you before you left. You rolled your eyes, but obliged to her request before leaving. Your father had called out a curfew time as the two of you headed out. 

Sam promised to have you home before then. 

Sam opened the door for you and you got in. He soon joined you in the car and drove to get food. He parked in Mc Donald’s parking lot and sighed. 

“I’m sorry it’s not some restaurant or something fancy…” 

“Hey it’s perfectly fine with me. I didn’t really wanna go somewhere like that anyways,” you said simply. 

Sam nodded a bit, “I really am sorry that my brother talked you into this though. You didn’t have to do this you know.” 

“I know but I don’t mind. He’s right. You should get to experience this. Hell even me, but I just don’t really like dances. Not big on them.” 

Sam smiled a bit, “Me either.” 

You chuckled and headed in with him. 

“Not gonna lie, it surprises me that you did agree though.” 

“I’m guessing it’s because we don’t really talk in class?” 

Sam looked down then back up at you, “Pretty much…” 

You smiled and the two of you ordered. You both got something small and a drink. Sam ended up sharing his fries with you and you both talked a bit. 

On the way out you were both laughing and climbing into the car again. Sam drove to the school and lead you in. 

Thankfully the awkwardness between the two of you had died down. Sam was starting to feel excited as you headed for the dance floor. You on the other hand were really happy you did agree. You always wanted to talk to Sam and be his friend, maybe even more, but never had the guts. All thanks to this you finally got to. It was the perfect excuse. 

After an hour and a half of dancing you both took a break by a nearby table. 

“God the music here sucks,” you joked. 

Sam chuckled, “Yeah and the decorations are pretty cheesy.” 

You snorted and grew flustered. 

Sam looked surprised before chortling, “Did you just snort?” 

“No! You didn’t hear that!” 

Sam leaned back and clapped as he laughed. 

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, “What do you say we get outta here? I know a place that doesn’t have cheesy decorations, better music, and no sweaty teenagers practically dry humping.” 

Sam chuckled and leaned forward curiously, “Count me in. Anything is defintely better than being here.” 

You smiled and lead him out to the car. You told him the directions and soon enough you pulled into the old campground. You had Sam drive up to the lake and stop before the small pier. 

“What is this place,” he asked curiously as he looked around in the car. 

“This is a camp I used to come to when I was a kid. They shut it down years ago though.” 

Sam nodded and observed all the cabins. They were falling apart from years of absence and use. His hazel eyes then landed on the poles that held staples nearby. 

You smiled and rolled your window and got out, “Come on.” 

Sam smiled, copying your actions of rolling down the window. 

“Turn up the radio.” 

Sam hummed and found a station, turned the volume up, and got out. 

He joined you in front of the car. 

The two of you were surrounded by darkness. The only light was coming from the stars, waxing crescent, and the headlights of the car. You could hear crickets and the music playing from the radio. 

You blushed a bit when a slow song started playing. 

Sam smiled and held a hand out, “May I have this dance?” 

You sniggered and took his hand. He pulled you close as the two of you danced. 

“Sorry I’m not the best at this… Never really been to many dances.” 

You smiled, “That’s okay. You won’t judge my crappy dance moves then.” 

Sam’s brows shot up as looked at you, “Judge you? Nah. If I judged you then you’d have permission to judge me.” 

The two of you laughed. When he spun you and playfully dipped you. It took all of your control to keep your hands from retracting to your sides as you guffawed. 

Soon the song changed and your face lit up. 

“Oh my god yes!”

Sam chortled as he watched you pull away. 

You started dancing and singing along to the song. 

“Come on Sam! Judgement freezone!” 

Sam shook his head as he chuckled, “I’m good. You clearly have the better moves.” 

You shook your head and grabbed his hands, helping him dance a bit. 

“Just feel the music. Come on you  _gotta cut loose! Footloose!_ ”

Sam tucked his head down in laughter, pulling his hands free he let go. He let the music and moment take over as the two of you danced. 

At one point you decided to head for the shallow part of the lake and dance in ankle deep water. 

Sam watched you, smiling. Part of him was mentally kicking himself for never talking to you and befriending you. You definitely would’ve made this particular high school more memorable. He was happy to be sharing this experience with you and he would definitely remember it. 

Sam argued with himself after watching you and decided to join. 

Your smile practically lit up even more under the light from the headlights. 

After a few more songs of dancing and laughter, the two of you took place on the pier, dangling your feet over the edge to dry. 

You both were relaxed; leaning back and holding yourselves up on your hands, talking. 

Time practically seemed to melt away. When you were finally dry you both loaded up into the car and Sam drove you home. 

He pulled up to your house, got out, and opened your door. You walked arm to arm up the sidewalk and to your front door. 

“I had a really fun time.” 

Sam smiled and chuckled lightly, “Yeah me too.” 

You smiled even more, feeling your face hurting from all the smiles and laughter, “We need to do this again. We need to hang out and not do it just because of a stupid high school experience.” 

Sam nodded, “Yeah. We do need to do this again. Thanks again for coming.” 

“No problem. I’ll see you at school Monday?” 

Sam nodded, “Yeah. I’ll see you Monday.” 

You smiled and opened your door and he started to walk off, “Bye Sam.” 

Sam looked over his shoulder and waved, “Bye. See you later, goodnight Y/N!” 

You chuckled and slipped into your house, shutting the door. 

Sam slipped into the Impala and sighed. He began to feel horrible as he drove back to the motel. He knew come Monday he wouldn’t see you. He’d only be there to notify that he was transferring to go onto the next. And the next one he’d be at is where he’d graduate before running away to California for college.


	10. Leaving Home

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvYFKWPFagDM&t=NjBhODBmZDUwNjdmMzA3NjA3MDRjNDAyNzY1MmIzMzFlYjA1ZjUzZixMSTBjVjgwVg%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159436073318%2Fleaving-home&m=1) that makes you fall asleep.** _

 

Out of all the things in the bunker that made it feel like your home as well was the grand piano. Sam of course was home too, but the piano also held a special place in your heart. 

After a long day you’d relax and just play soft melodies that would resonate throughout the bunker. And after returning weeks after from a hunt you’d sit down and write pieces. 

Hunts, the boys, and everything you got to experience in the world inspired you. It pushed you to become a better hunter and even a better pianist. 

On the nights you’d all be drinking, you’d play and Dean would sing along to the song drunkenly. Sam would be in his chair laughing and watching the two of you completely lost in the music. 

The piano was one of many things to bring you all together. 

When Charlie had visited she’d beg you to play pieces from the Hobit and Lord of the Rings. You of course would usually oblige to her requests with a smile. 

Even one time Castiel watched over your shoulder curiously. He watched your fingers dance over the keys as you worked your magic, eyes scanning the sheets and playing the corresponding notes. He had turned his attention over to your sheets and books. He flipped through them recognizing one song in particular. That night you tried to teach him to play Hallelujah. It took him awhile to get the hang of it, but he did. And when he played for you to show you, a smile spread across his face, you had become Dean. You sang the words to the song as he played. It had been nice to be on the other end of it all. 

Some evenings you’d be left alone while the boys handled a case. It had either been too dangerous our they could easily tackle it. Sam usually wanted you where it was safe- where he knew it was safe. For him, the safest place he knew of was the bunker. 

But as of lately you haven’t gotten around to much hunting. Both Sam and Dean’s orders this time rather than just Sam’s. 

You could argue if you wanted, but it wouldn’t do you any good. Besides, it wasn’t just you they were protecting. 

It was the middle of the night and the bunker was quiet. When you passed by, you could hear Dean snoring in his room. 

You were the only one to be awake. It felt impossible to sleep even with Sam beside you. It also didn’t help when you had to get up to pee or even find food or drink. 

A couple of hours had gone by and sleep seemed to still be nowhere in sight. Part of you started to wish that Sam or even Dean could play your piano and lull you to sleep. 

You rose from the bed again and headed for the kitchen. Once you had your trusty ice water you headed back towards the room. But a compelling force stopped you to sit at your piano. You set the water beside the bench and took your place. You played a few soft notes and looked up when you heard a light cough. 

Sam smiled at you tiredly as he leaned in the door way. His sweatpants were halfway hanging on his hips. His muscles peeked out along with his boxer briefs. You took notice of one pant leg covering his foot before looking up to his tired, hazel eyes. He gently rubbed one eye as his shirt hiking up his body, a yawn escaping his large form. 

“What are you doing up?" 

You smiled a bit and grabbed your water from the floor, "I could ask you the same thing." 

Sam chuckled before yawning again. He blinked a few times before adjusting his sights back on you. 

"I uh… Had a nightmare. Nothing bad. But I realized you weren’t next to me. Thought I’d find you. Just followed the sound of the,” he yawned again, “Piano…." 

You smiled and approached him, your feet softly padding against the wood floor, "I just thought I’d get some water. Piano sorta just called me to it like a moth to a light." 

Sam nodded and pulled you to him, leading you back to the room, "You know if you keep drinking that you’ll keep getting up to pee." 

You sighed, "I know…. But I just feel parched and it just goes right through me…." 

Sam hummed and set the glass onto the bedside table. He crawled back into bed and pulled you with him, making sure you were comfortable. 

"Try to get some sleep? You have an appointment at nine…" 

"Eight,” you corrected. 

“Even more reason to get to sleep,” he mumbled. 

“But I-" 

"I have an idea,” he interrupted. 

Sam leaned over you to grab your phone from the table next to the water, his bedhead falling and framing his face. He leaned back as the screen lit up. You watched as his thumbs swiftly moved across your screen pulling up YouTube and typing something in. He clicked on Leaving Home and soon the sound of a piano played throughout the room. With a gentle thud your phone was placed back where it usually sat. He then turned the lamp off. 

Sam pulled you closer and you nuzzled into him. Your head was on his chest listening to his heartbeat as his fingers plowed through your locks gently. You began to faintly tingle as he ushered you to sleep. All thanks to the sound of his drumming heart, the melody from the phone, and his magic fingers massaging your scalp. 

Sam smiled in a tired victory when he could hear you faintly snoring. He pressed his lips to your head before falling asleep to the smell of your peach shampoo. 


	11. Carnival

**_A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D0M6wU6PAF4U&t=YjMyYTI1OGY2OWEzYzVmZjJjNDhhZTY5OTBjYzg3MjdjM2RhOTZjNix6Y2ZhZUZ5Wg%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159477883033%2Fcarnival&m=1) by your favorite band._ **

 

You sipped on your coffee as your eyes scanned the contents of the computer screen. A small frown appeared when you noticed something going on in Standford. With quick and little effort you had your phone to your ear as you listened to the ringing. It didn’t take long for him to pick up and his familiar, gruffy voice to hit your ear. 

“What are you calling for, Y/N,” Bobby asked simply. 

You hummed as you took another sip and sat forward. You leaned on your elbow and kept the phone to your ear, “There seems to be a case in Standford. Don’t you have a family member over there or something?" 

Bobby frowned on his end of the line and adjusted in his seat, "Yeah I do. What’s going on over there?" 

"Seems to have been a fire. Like the one you said happened to John’s wife." 

Bobby gulped, feeling his heart aching, "Then why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be checking it out?" 

"I’m going to. About to leave actually. But I just wanted to let you know if you haven’t heard. John’s son could be hurt from this if he knew the girl." 

Bobby nodded, "Just get it taken care of." 

He quickly hung up in a sour mood. You frowned and quickly went to your car. Hopefully whatever killed Jessica Moore was still there. 

As you drove your mind began to wonder. Bobby had told you about John a few times, but you hadn’t talked to Bobby much to know more. All you knew was something killed his wife Mary, and John wanted to find what killed his wife. 

However, Bobby had warned him about the road he would take. He told him it was dangerous and would throw his boys’ lives in danger. And John picked keeping his sons safe over finding the truth. Once you came into the hunting world, you took on the unspeakable case Bobby was running to find the truth for John. Of course the only reason he gave you the case was because you were an impressive and terrifying hunter. 

You had just entered Standford when Sam sat down on the bed. 

A sigh heavily escaped his form as he wiped his eyes once more. His once lively hazel orbs were now red and puffy from the crying. His whole body ached from pain and loss. With his mind realing and his thoughts jumbling, the only thing that really made sense was that he left with Dean. 

Dean had came in the night before to surprise Sam. It worked of course, and with plenty of persuasion Sam was at the bar drinking with his older brother. By the time they got back Sam laid in bed to find Jessica on the ceiling bleeding. The place had burst into his flames, and his brother pulled him to safety once again. 

Dean already knew how losing Jessica would affect him. And Sam wanted to know what did this of course. So it took little efforts to get Sam to leave Standford. He wanted out. He wanted to know why, and his dad would know. If not him, then Bobby would. 

You adjusted your pants suit and knocked on the door of the hotel room. Sam was the one to answer with a dead look.   
"Sorry Dean’s not here rigth now,” he mumbled. 

“Samuel Winchester. FBI. I’m here to ask you a few questions about Jessica Moore?" 

Sam frowned, "I’m sorry but I’ve answered plenty of–" 

"Please? You can talk to me. No matter how crazy." 

His brows knitted together in confusion, "Okay?” He stepped aside to let you in. 

You began to go through your procedure of questions and listening. About half way through the process you got a text with coordinates. Once you had all you needed you rose to your feet. 

“I know this is hard, but thank you. I’ll make sure what killed Jessica will pay." 

Sam frowned and got up, "I want revenge on what or who killed her…. Please?" 

You shook your head, "I’m sorry but it’s too risky. Have a good day." 

You quickly slipped out to your car but Sam followed. You started the car and Sam climbed in. He argued with you until you agreed. 

Before you knew it, Dean was joining as well. 

Bobby of course would kill you for dragging them to a hunt, but it would take awhile to catch the demon that killed Jess. And there was no way that Sam anytime soon was leaving his path of revenge. 

But little did you know that the two Winchesters would be so much larger than the yellowed eye demon.


	12. Bewitched

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dg5z_jjXF_2k&t=YzJmNmIyMDFlNzYwMjg1M2E0YzI1ZmY1Yzk1OWY5ZTI4OTFiYjYxNCxOTk8wQ25hYw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159515568303%2Fbewitched&m=1) from a band you hate.** _

 

Sam smiled when he saw you and Dean dressed up like he had hoped for. He could see the confusion on your faces. 

Sam had requested for the two of you to come to the chapel in your FBI get up. 

“Sam what’s going on,” questioned Dean. 

Sam smiled happily, “I’m getting married Dean. I’ve found the love of my life." 

"Are you fucking kidding me,” you questioned, completely set off. 

Dean frowned to his younger brother, “Who are you getting married to?" 

Soon the bride came into the room and Sam moved her veil, a bright smile appeared across her face, "You made it! I’m so glad! I told you he’d come Sam." 

Sam smiled and pulled her closely, "Yeah you did." 

Dean was baffled. 

"Dean you already know Becky. Becky this is Y/N, Y/N this is Becky." 

"I don’t care who she is,” you snapped. 

Sam frowned. He was hurt that you had snapped and said that. Sam thought you’d be happy for him. He found someone who made him happy- someone to spend his life with. But instead all he got was anger. 

You balled your hands into fists. Your nails dug into your palms as you began shaking from the blood coursing through your veins. It seemed to be streaming at an alarming rate. You tried to block out their talk about this situation. How could Dean be so calm. 

“We’d appreciate it if you two stayed for the ceremony?" 

"I’d rather attend my own funeral. Or actually, I’d rather be tortured in hell than ever see your ceremony." 

Becky flinched from your harsh words and Sam glared at you. 

"Y/N apologize. I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to my fiancee." 

"Your  _fiancee_? Are you kidding me? Did you forget who your fiancee really is? Whatever you did to him I will find out Becky, and when I do it won’t be pretty." 

You turned and headed for the door. 

Sam’s heart began to ache as he watched you walk away. Becky waved it off and decided to start the ceremony. Dean had stayed inside for whatever reason that compelled him to while you sat in the car waiting. 

Once it was finished Dean came out to the vehicle, "We’ll take care of that case in Delaware. Maybe it’ll take your mind off Sam." 

"Nothing will take my mind off her. Did you guys say Becky was that crazy fan who read the books?" 

Dean nodded as he began driving, "Yeah. Super fan 99." 

"No idea where the books stopped at, but if it had me in them she should know just how badly I could hurt her." 

"Let’s not do anything just yet okay? But we will get this handled. Last thing we need is you killing someone cause your jealous." 

You glared to Dean. He was usually the one to comfort you or help calm you down when all of the stuff with Sam happened. Now he’s talking to you like this is nothing. To you it was something. Becky had snatched your fiance from you with whatever she was doing. And if she were to do something to him, then she’d be putting herself in danger. 

"I’m not jealous Dean. She’s techincally abusing him. He might be under a spell and even if he were to give her any kind of permission, it wouldn’t be what he truly wants." 

Dean sighed and rested a hand on your knee, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. 

While Dean decided to handle the hunt you had stayed back in the motel. It was Dean’s choice on doing so just to avoid you doing something stupid. And since both you and Sam were out for helping him, Bobby sent Garth in to help Dean.

You relaxed most of the time while Dean kept you updated with text messages. You pretty much stayed out of it until it was time to catch the demon. And for this one you wanted in. Not just because the Elixir no longer had him under it’s spell, but because more demons would show up. They needed all the help they could get, and Becky wasn’t going to be much of it. 

When you showed up to the location Sam greeted you with a smile. You flashed him a half smile and he knew. You were happy to have him back but you were still radiating with anger. However your anger increased when the demon’s intern flung you all across the room. 

You groaned and tried to reorientate yourself before getting back to your feet. 

Dean got to his feet and tried to do the exorcism. You began to pick up where left off, but the lackie started to choke you. He even started choking Sam until Becky killed him for you. Sam pulled the knife from the body and tossed it to Dean quickly. The two of you were gasping for air and Sam looked to you. 

You knew that look. You had seen it plenty times before to know he was worried about you. 

"I’m fine,” you breathed out. 

He gave you a slight nod before Crowley appeared. He wanted the demon Dean was holding as leverage. But then he began to bargin. The demon to be handed over while he kept his other demons out of the way. It was beneficial for all of you. Less focus on demons, more focus on leviathans. 

With things cleared up you all went back to Becky’s motel so Sam could have their marraige annulled. Becky seemed to be pretty bumbed out but you didn’t really seem to care at the moment. However Garth seemed to enjoy the idea of Becky being back on market. 

“No,” Dean said simply. 

You snickered and then sighed a bit, “Sam’s right though… Just wait and your right guy will find you. Just focus on yourself for now. Seriously focus on yourself. Try to do away with the clinginess thing that you do. People don’t like to feel smothered 24/7." 

Becky nodded and mumbled out a thank you before you all headed out. 

Garth hugged the three of you before seperating ways. He was a bit out there, but he was a really cool guy nonetheless. 

Sam cleared his throat a bit and looked to his brother, "So while I was doped up I said somethings…" 

"So she wasn’t your soulmate,” Dean teased. 

“Shut up." 

"Come on Sam. Don’t be so negative. She was the love of your life right,” you tossed in. 

Sam gave you a look and you hurried into the car. There was no way you were about to be held victim to one of his tickles or even to be caught up in his arms. There were times they were the most comfortable place to be, other times they were a prison that just seemed to trap you. It all just mattered on who you were getting; the kind and gentle Sammy, or the tough and scary Sam. 

Your thoughts were broken up when they got in the car, shutting their doors in sync. 

A smile formed as you leaned forward, “Was being married those couple of days to her that bad?" 

Dean groaned, "I don’t wanna know details please." 

Sam gave his brother a look, "We didn’t do that. But she hog tied me to a bed." 

You smirked and wiggled your brows, "She hog tied you?" 

Sam’s face paled a bit, "No. You are not hog tying me to a bed. I’d rather not be tied up again." 

You snickered and leaned forward, "Come on Sammy. I’d love to–" 

"Oh gross! Get a room you two!" 

You and Sam started laughing as Dean peeled out of the alley.


	13. Crazy Girl

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_i89xbybOls&t=YmFiODc0MjA5ODk3ODkwNWVjMTBkMzI2MjA1NThiOTRhMmNmODJkYixWZ25ZUXVnMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159553246158%2Fcrazy-girl&m=1) that's a guilty pleasure. ** _

 

You sighed as you sat on the couch staring at your phone. Thoughts were rushing through your mind all at once as you began to over think. All you could think about was the past. You knew that Sam was different. He wasn’t like the other guys you had been with, but even still your anxiety spiked. 

It was always hard to not compare and not worry, but it always seemed to happen. Cheating. Lying. Being lead on. You dealt with it all. And it was always back to back. 

It was refreshing and nice to have a good relationship with once. Sam gave you that. You didn’t have to worry, but you still did; even if your gut told you not to. 

A thud sounded off in the room as you set your phone on your table. Your eyes were fixated on it as you blankly stared. Knots began to form as the seconds ticked by with no reply. Soon minutes passed and you still hadn’t heard a thing. 

Maybe he finally found someone prettier- someone better than you. Maybe even understood his life that was beyond your walls. Maybe she was there for him during his work when he needed someone most. Or possibly Dean had hooked his brother up with someone. 

The ache began to slowly weigh you down as a sickness took over. The thoughts clouded your mind so much that you were too absorbed to hear the knock on the door. 

Sam walked into the house and towards you on the couch. His long, muscular legs came into your view. He leaned down and cradled your face in his calloused hands. They were so warm and inviting. And even though they were rough, they were so soft on your skin. 

“Y/N, it’s okay. I mean it." 

You frowned and looked into his eyes. They were full of worry and so much passion. 

Did he really leave whatever he was doing to come talk to you? It was a mistake. It was your fault. You read the message wrong and assumed something different. It made you worry and think all the possibilites. It caused a small argument and thought he would leave. 

Sam gulped and took the spot next to you. He pulled your hands into his. They were practically swallowed in his. 

"Y/N, I mean it. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere." 

"But what if–" 

Sam interrupted you, "No what if’s. I don’t care if there is someone better than you out there. That’s your opinion, not mine. I don’t want your version of better. I want you. I don’t want other girls, even if they know the life that I live. None of them are you. I love you and only you." 

You nodded and hugged onto him, "I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry I do this so much. It must be annoying…." 

Sam held onto you and rubbed your back, "It’s not annoying. I understand why you get so freaked out. I don’t mind. Please don’t apologize?" 

You let out a shaky breath, "Maybe you should tell me about your life?" 

Sam tensed up a bit, "Are you sure? Because once I tell you there’s not going back…." 

You nodded and gently kissed his lips, "I’m sure Sam." 


	14. Girls Like U

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DOvRegj2_asY&t=NDdiOTZmODE2NmM2MTM3M2Y1M2NmNjA2ZDcyYjE0YTA0ODllYjYxOCxPeUd0R3M4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159589613903%2Fgirls-like-u&m=1) that no one would expect you to love.** _

 

A couple of days had passed since Sam last heard you. You left the motel that morning wearing the same clothes from the night before. 

That night, sparks seemed to fly. Things heated up even more when he took you back to his motel room, and you shared drunk kisses. Clothes had been shed to the floor. Sweat dripped off your bodies until you both found your release. 

Sam remembered the scene each time he went to bed. He’d then remember when he woke up alone. Not that he minded. He was used to it. But he felt like there might be something more than just a fling between the two of you. 

Dean handed his brother a cup of coffee as he climbed into the car, “Find anything yet?" 

Sam cleared his throat and exited from your contact in his phone, "Uh not yet." 

Dean nodded, "Alright well I don’t wanna drive around wasting gas until then. Let’s go hit up the theater or something?" 

"Yeah that sounds good." 

Dean smiled and put the car in drive. 

Sam frowned when you never sent a reply. 

You on the other hand were smirking. Your friends that night told you to play hard to get, and that’s exactly what you were doing. You waited an hour before sending a reply to him. 

Sam was in the theaters watching the movie with his brother when he felt his phone go off. He pulled it from his pocket hoping it would be you. He began to smile when he realized he was right. 

Part of him knew he shouldn’t be playing this little game with you. He’d learn plenty of times from his brothers stories or the times any relationship he’s had went south. But he felt good about this one. Maybe you wouldn’t end up like the rest. 


	15. Small Hands

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dh_ZFoEdxGNY&t=MzU3MGE5ODNiNWIwODcxZjY3M2FlYTM4OGI3ZjFmNWYzYzc4MjZjYix4SDRTaGRiVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159626950558%2Fsmall-hands&m=1) that describes you.** _

 

There were many ways in which Sam and Dean were different, but one thing Sam definitely got from his elder was hiding how he truly felt. He would always lie and say that he was truly fine, even when you knew he was far from the truth.   
But recently Sam was beginning to be weighed down. Even pushing through the day now was getting difficult. It was all piling up. He was near his breaking point.

However, the events of today’s hunt sent him over the edge. He was finally crushing underneath it all, and getting up seemed near impossible. He was falling into an abyss that never seemed to end. His heart was heavy as his entire body felt like lead. 

Sam dragged himself to your shared room and practically drowned in the covers. Tears pooled in his eyes as they threatened to spill. He was trying to keep it in and appear strong, but it was failing. The damn broke and a sob escaped him as his breath shook. 

Dean was currently patching you up while Sam was sobbing into the pillows. He couldn’t do it. He felt horrible for letting it even happen. 

You thanked Dean and headed for your room. Shyly stopping at the door, you heard Sam’s sobs. Your heart broke and you went into the room. 

“Sam,” you spoke gently as you climbed into the bed. 

You crossed your legs and tenderly pulled on his arm that held the pillow. 

Sam released it from his confines and immediately wrapped his arms around you. His face was buried in your lap as he cried. 

You frowned, gently playing with his soft locks to help ease him. 

“I’ve got you, Sam. It’s alright. Accidents happen. What matters is I’m still here. I love you.“ 

Sam choked out a sob and squeezed you tighter, "I should be protecting you, not getting you hurt." 

You lifed his chin and wiped his tears away, placing gentle kisses to his cheeks and nose, "It wasn’t your fault. Besides, you always protect me." 

"But–" 

"Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel. You’re not alone. You don’t always have to be so strong around me. I know when you aren’t okay. You always support me and hold me up, but you won’t let me do it for you. Sam let me please…." 

Sam stared into your eyes searching. All his questions he had in that moment were answered. He knew you would do everything in your power to support him whether he wanted it or not. Your stubbornness was one of many reasons he fell in love with you to begin with. Even if he wanted to push you away and keep you at arm’s length, he knew you’d be right there no matter what. You’d survive and fight for your life not just for yourself, but for him. Sam knew you could protect yourself easily, but it was his job to protect you. Just like it was Dean’s to protect him. 

Sam pratically wedged himself between your legs as he rested his head on your chest. Sobs continued to pour out as you played with his hair. You gently hummed any songs that entered your mind. Small fingers weaved through his hair and massaged small patterns into his back; comforting in any way possible. 

You wanted him to let it all out before talking about it. Every part of you wanted to help piece him back together. Especially when he was ready for it. 

However Sam never got to talk to you about any of the thoughts on his mind. In the process of comforting him, you lulled him to sleep. His wails had faded into whimpers, and then gentle snoring. His tears were replaced with drool, and the weight he held seemed to be free as he relaxed. Now you were met with more than just the weight of keeping him up, and helping him along. Sam’s muscles twitched as they relaxed; loosening their hold on you. 

As soon as you adjusted to lay down his arms tightened. Even asleep you knew he was worried you’d leave. 

A small smile fell upon your face as you kissed his head, prying his arms a bit to allow for your movement. Two pairs of jeans melted together on the floor as you tucked him in. You took your normal place beside him. 

Usually Sam would fall asleep being the big spoon, or even the occasionally small spoon. But right now he was on his stomach with one arm on your waist. 

You placed another kiss to his head as you whispered, "I will always be here. Remember that I love you." 


	16. Ride

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPw-0pbY9JeU&t=NmE0ZDY0NGUxNzZkNTIzNDRjMjdhN2NiMzMwN2Y4MTM4OTE1MmQ4NSxveVRtbnNmeA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159660671668%2Fride&m=1) you used to love but now hate. ** _

 

The sun was high over head as sweat drenched off your bodies. Dean was floating in the water with shades shielding his view. Sam had gone off to the car to grab a few things while you bathed in the rays, sunglasses hiding your retinas from it’s harmful glow. You hummed and pushed your toes further into the cool sand as the waves rushed up to graze your feet. 

It was a hot summer day and Dean had the bright idea of coming to the nearest beach. You and Sam jumped on the idea finding the nearest one quickly. Then again, all three of you wanted off those sticky leather seats. 

After finding the nearest spot you all rushed out of the car. It was a secluded area so none of you cared about stripping down. The three of you had hurried onto the scorching sand in your undergarments. Dean made a straight line for the water while you wanted to kick back. 

Sam came back onto the sand lugging around the cooler with him and a small bag. He set them down and approached you. 

You had no idea what was about to happen since you were focused on Dean, with your back towards Sam. He lifted you up in his sweaty embrace and practically ran into the water. 

You shrieked from the sudden chill rushing its way over your body as he went in further. His laugh sounded in your ear as you could feel the vibrations from his chest against your back. 

“Samuel Winchester put me down!" 

Dean stopped floating to see what the commotion was about, "Have fun with your death." 

Sam chuckled and set you down in the water turning you to face him, and before you could get another word out he pressed his lips to yours. As he pulled away he couldn’t help but smile. His smile seemed to spread upon the grumpy look on your face. 

"To be fair the longer you sat there you’d probably burn. I was doing you a favor." 

You pursed your lips and moved quickly. You kicked his feet from underneath him and helped push him into the water. 

Sam’s hunter instincts kicked in and pulled you with, earning another glare from you. 

Dean started cackling at the scene. 

Your glare was now pointed at Dean. Dean began to move away but you got to him quickly. The two of you began to fight each other. It had all been fun and games until the point a fish nibbled on your toe, freaking you out. You jumped onto Dean’s back to get away from the fish. 

Dean began to lose it. Sam moved in the water effortlessly towards you two.  

"Yay my Prince Charming!" 

However Sam kept going past the two of you, swimming out further. You watched him go under and you tried to go after. You sighed when you reached your limit of being able to touch. 

"Be careful,” Dean warned. “I don’t wanna have to perform mouth to mouth cause you drown." 

"Yeah, yeah Dean. I know. Thanks for looking out for me dad,” you teased. 

“Might not wanna keep your back in the direction Sam’s at. Remember what happened last time,” Dean quipped, reminding you of earlier.

Too late. 

Sam carefully moved under the water and gently pinched your ass. You let out a scream thinking it was a fish again. Sam slowly poked his head out of the water. His nose was just barely under the water as he looked up at you innocently. Sam gave you his best puppy eyes as he straightened up. 

“I love you?" 

You rolled you eyes, "Love you too, Jerk." 

Sam smiled and shook his head before pushing the hair from his view. Part of you began to wish that Dean wasn’t here. That it was just the two of you. All you could think about was sweat and water mixing together on his body. With your thoughts crowding your mind, you drew your lip between your teeth. Parts of you were succumbing to the wants- the needs. 

Sam’s jaw clenched as you palmed him through his briefs. His eyes were darkening with lust, nearly matching your’s. 

"Y/N,” he said lowly through gritted teeth. “Not right now…." 

He was warning you. However it was your turn to push his buttons. 

You smirked and closed the distance. You kept up the groping before pressing your body to his. 

For having water wading just barely underneath your chin, you were still intimidating. Both in a threatening way and sexually. 

With ease you wrapped your legs around his waist as your arms took his shoulders. 

Sam gulped and groaned lowly from the movement, "Y/N…I mean it." 

You hummed and pressed your lips underneath his ear, kissing and sucking. A smirk spread across your face when you heard another low groan come from deep within. 

Your lips then gently pressed to the shell of his ear as you spoke softly, "I know. I just wanted to tease you." 

You quickly pulled away and swam in towards the shore. You laughed when you saw the frustrated and defeated look upon his face. 

Dean was already on shore digging a beer from the cooler, "You guys want anything?" 

You smiled and walked onto the sand, water dripping down onto the little grains, "Water please." 

Dean nodded and grabbed you one out, handing it over. You twisted the cap off as Dean’s popped away from the bottle. 

"Sammy you want a beer,” Dean hollered out. 

Sam groaned, “Yeah gimme a sec!" 

You snickered and Dean’s brows furrowed. His green eyes then landed on you. He was surprised but wanted to pat your back nonetheless. It was needless to say he was impressed. 

Sam finally came to shore and took his beer. The sound of Dean’s phone going off grabbed your attention. 

Dean reached down and pulled them from his pants, answering the phone after checking the I.D. 

You turned your focus onto Sam. It was hot as is, but you could feel the heat from his body as well. He was radiating warmth and frustration. 

Dean frowned and ended the call, "Cas said he’s found us a case. Looks like a salt and burn. We should get going." 

"You and Cas can handle it right?" 

"Well I’m pretty sure we could. Are you guys not coming with,” Dean questioned. 

“Go without us,” Sam said simply. “Just let me grab a few things first." 

"Sam are you-" 

One look from Sam and Dean knew. He held up his hands in surrender. 

"Okay." 

You watched as Dean grabbed his clothes and headed towards the car with Sam. Dean pulled his clothes and got into the Impala. Sam had grabbed a few sheets that you usually kept in the car for the nights you slept in it. 

"I’ll call you when we’re done then." 

Sam nodded to his brother and came back towards you. Just the way he was walking and looking at you, you knew. 


	17. Bad Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains violence and abuse. 
> 
> It's also the second part to Dreaming Alone

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D6OcVjEzK1Bs&t=NWZiMzdlZTVlOGVhYTNmYmE2NGY1Njk1MjU2ODg5YjFlNzY0ZTQyNyxyQ1JKMkNhOA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159704482508%2Fbad-things&m=1) you often hear on the radio** _

 

**__**

Dean frowned when he noticed the coffee pot was empty. Usually Sam was the first one awake. He’d jog and make coffee, but today none of that seemed to been done. With a sigh Dean made his way to his brother’s room. Sam was curled up and holding a pillow closely to him. Dean quickly and quietly left the doorway, and headed for the library. Dean found Sam’s laptop and opened it up. 

He rubbed his face and pulled out his phone; deciding to call your phone. His heart dropped when it went to the voicemail. Someone else’s voice went through the motions and he ended the call. He made quick work of trying to find you. Part of him hoped you’d be around the area they last saw you. But there was also a chance you ventured out further, which he didn’t want to think of that. With no luck he quickly found a photo in his phone. It would work perfectly. 

Sam was tiredly heading down the hall and towards the kitchen. When Dean heard him coming by he quickly exited the browser and shut the laptop. 

Sam stopped in the doorway rubbing his face. His eyes were bloodshot and he still looked exhausted even though he just woke up. 

“Find a case,” he asked yawning. 

Dean gulped a bit before adjusting in his seat, “Yeah. Missing person’s case…. Seems a bit fishy. So get you some coffee, food, whatever you need and we’ll head out." 

Sam nodded and headed for the kitchen. 

Dean quickly headed for his room to gather what they’d need. 

You slowly opened your eyes to find your boyfriend walking past the kitchen. He was grumbling under his breath. After blinking a few times and adjusting to the light, you decided to push yourself up off the cold floor. A yelp escaped as pain surged it’s way up your arm; the broken bones in your hand jolting and crying in pain from the use. Tears fell down your face as you got to your feet, shaking. Your boyfriend growled and moved you away from the fridge to open it. 

"If you aren’t going to make any food then get out of my way. Or better yet get out of the kitchen." 

You flinched and hurried out and towards the bathroom. Once in the safety of the locked room you peeled away your clothes. Your body throbbed as your muscles ached. Brusies and cuts decorated your body in all shapes and sizes. Every part of you seemed to cry in pain from the movements you were making. You climbed into the warm water of the shower, enjoying the small time of privacy you could get. 

Dean had his bag over his shoulder and headed for the kitchen to see Sam ready to go. He was drinking an Irish coffee. The only way he knew was the fact his brother forgot to put the alcohol away afterwards. A sigh escaped him as he took the cup from his brother. 

"What the hell Dean? I was drinking that!" 

"You don’t need to be getting wasted this early. We have a case. I need you focused." 

"I am focused. I will be. I’m fine." 

"No you aren’t. You don’t think I haven’t noticed that the past 3 and a half months have been hell for you? You cry yourself to sleep and wake up with bloodshot eyes. Even when we’re invested in a case you aren’t fully there. I’d rather her life be at risk than deal with you during a case like this. Damn it Sam, you need her. I’m pretty sure she needs you too." 

Sam’s jaw clenched, tears forming at his eyes. He gulped and fought the urge to sob right then and there. 

"You have no idea what you’re talking about Dean. Besides, this is what’s best." 

"What’s best? Damn it Sam…. You said you could handle it and then as soon as it happened you turned her away. You left her…. How is that what’s best?" 

"It’s keeping her safe. Keeping her alive Dean! I wouldn’t expect you to understand. We’re leaving her be and that’s final." 

Dean sighed, "Fine. Let’s go." 

The two brothers headed out of the bunker in their fed suits and into the car. Dean didn’t let off the gas as he spead to the location of the town they left you in. 

You stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in the towel. Quickly, you made your way into the bedroom. You were getting dressed when your boyfriend came into the room. 

"I don’t get a little show?" 

"I have errands to run,” you said simply. 

He frowned and gripped your face, “You’re staying home today. The doctor can wait. Your hand is fine." 

You just stood there completely blank. Fear was settled in your entire body. All you could do was simply nod. 

Dean asked the motel managers and anyone he could think of. None of them saw you. Dean sighed and the two climbed back into the car. 

"Do you think you can check the traffic cameras and any cameras in the nearby towns?" 

Sam’s brows furrowed, "Uh yeah. Just head to that dinner we saw so I can pull it all up." 

Dean nodded and did like his brother asked. Sam quickly got to work on his laptop. 

Sam checked a few days back to the time Dean said the person went missing. He had no idea who he was looking for, which frustrated him. Until he figured it out. He saw you getting into a car with a man. There was a cast on your hand, causing his jaw to clench. 

His eyes darted from over the screen to his brother, "Seriously? You brought me here telling me it was a hunt…." 

"It is. We’re hunting her down." 

"No we aren’t Dean. We’re going to leave and go find monsters to deal with.”  

Dean sighed, “Sam you love her. I would give anything to have Lisa back. But I can’t. I messed up and look how it ended up. I regret letting anything happen to her. It was because I left. Don’t you get that?" 

Sam gulped at the memory, feeling his throat closing. Tears burned at his eyes; his heart aching. 

"Even if I wanted to Dean she has a boyfriend…. It’s clear she’s moved on. She doesn’t need me anymore." 

Dean sighed and flipped the computer around. He got the plate and town he needed. Quickly shutting it, he grabbed it and stood up. 

"Sam come on. If you aren’t going to get her, I at least wanna make sure she’s alright." 

Things seemed to be fine. He had just had small fits of anger. But those moments were well past gone. His small fits of anger had melted into rage. You didn’t know what set him off, but all you knew is you wanted out. You quickly grabbed your phone and hurried for the door. All you wanted was fresh air. Something outside of the confines of the apartment. You were feeling trapped- prisoned. 

However he grabbed you and pulled you back, shutting the door. He threw your phone to the wall busting it. Tears fell down your face. That phone held the memories of you and Sam. Though your boyfriend never knew that. If he had, he would’ve destroyed it long ago. The last bit of Sam you had was now broken and gone. A sob escaped as you pleaded for him to stop. He didn’t care. He slammed you into the wall. 

"You don’t get to leave without my permission! I don’t need you whoring it up out there!" 

Punches were thrown your way, leaving you shaking. You headed for the kitchen. Part of you hoped you’d find something to use as defense, the other just wanted away from him. Even still, he knew what you were doing. And suddenly the kitchen seemed like the worse idea in the world. 

Knees were thrown into the mix. Your ribs ached as your lungs felt like they were on fire. He slammed your head causing a gash to open up. Blood pooled onto the surface and fell down your skin. Tears began to mix in the crimson liquid. 

Sam and Dean found their way to the apartment complex after the call with the police station. Dean lead the way in, having been the one to make the call. Sounds of slamming and shouting could be heard, but not pinpointed to the exact place yet. Dean approached the door and knocked. Shuffling was heard from beyond the door and soon your boyfriend answered it. 

"Can I help you,” he spat out angrily. 

Sam’s face fell upon the sight of him. 

Dean cleared his throat and held up his badge, “FBI. Agent Bruce and Banner. We need to have a word with Y/N. We’ve been informed she lives here." 

Your boyfriend huffed, "She doesn’t live here." 

Sam’s stomach dropped in worry. Millions of possibilities clouded his mind. Had you moved on? Had you been kidnapped? 

Dean’s brow shot up, "Well just a few days ago she was still here. Any idea where she went?" 

He shrugged, "Didn’t tell me. Don’t care." 

Your boyfriends lies were soon realized when they heard faint sobs. Your breathing shook as you breathed in to let out another cry. Every part of you throbbed as your lungs were blazing. You were dizzy and couldn’t tell up from down. 

Dean quickly walked in with Sam following. Your boyfriend was beyond vexed now and tried to shove them out. 

Sam quickly moved and hurried for the room your cries were coming from. Dean on the other hand slammed the man into the wall. 

Sam’s eyes widened at the sight of you as he hurried over, "Y/N!" 

You sobbed and blinked hard, trying to focus on him. He was kneeling down beside you, worry written all over his face. 

"F- fuck…. Hang on okay? We’re getting you out of here…." 

You cried out in pain when Sam gently lifted you up into his arms. He easily held you in one arm as the other brushed your hair from your wound. Sam hurried towards the door with you in his arms. 

Dean noticed your condition and his jaw clenched. Dean decked him in the face and left. He called and left a tip to the police as he left. 

Sam laid you gently into the backseast, "Y/N hang on….. We’re gonna get you to the hospital…. Please hang on…." 

However it was too late. You blacked out and Sam choked on the sob that he had been holding back.

Dean quickly climbed into the car, rushing the three of you to the hospital. He clutched the steering wheel as the flashbacks played through his head. He quickly parked and hurried after Sam into the building. 

Sam was shaking as he held you. Even when the nurses tried to separate him from you, he stood his ground. 

"Please…. I don’t wanna leave her,” he begged. 

It took Dean stepping in for Sam to wait. Dean sat impatiently tapping his foot. Sam couldn’t stop pacing. Once the doctor gave him the okay, he hurried into your room. 

The sound of your heartbeat filled his ears and he sighed with relief. Even though he was told you’d be okay, he wanted to see for himself. 

Sam pulled a chair beside your bed, tears fell down his face as he gently grabbed your hand. He cradled it in his large hands, kissing your knuckles. His eyes flicked over to your injured hand and frowned. All of the marks on your body were from your boyfriend. They were all added to the marks you’d already had from hunting. His heart began to ache. 

“I’m so sorry…. This is my fault…. If I didn’t push you away…. I was scared- a coward… Please forgive me…. Y/N, I need you. I want you…. I don’t want to lose you… Not again…" 

Sam sighed when you didn’t respond. Then again you wouldn’t for awhile. You were unconscious. You would be for awhile. Your body took a lot before the point of exhaustion took over. Now you were under pain medication. You were able to sleep peacefully. And even though you were in a hospital bed, it was far warmer than a floor. Sam placed another small kiss to your hand as he rested his forehead against it. 

Sam let more tears out. This time they were ones of joy. He found you. You were going to be okay, and they saved you. Sam saved you. And he actually had you back. 

You groaned and stirred from your sleep. Your body screamed from the slight movements you bad. 

Sam looked up, his hazel eyes on you. He drew a breath in as he watched you blink tightly. 

You groaned from the light and Dean turned it down when he stepped in. 

A small smile spread across the other Winchester’s face. 

You blinked a few times and slowly looked to Sam. You were still groggy and tired; the medicine taking full effect. You blinked again, thinking it was all a dream- that Sam wasn’t real. When he didn’t disappear your eyes began to water. 

"Sam?" 


	18. Dad's Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Sam being dead.

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Df87vWCApl6E&t=OTRhNDFjZjIxYjVmZTZjMzdiYjk1NWQyNTY3NTJkNThiNzY2ZGJhYyx1Zzk3blpMQQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159742778283%2Fdads-song&m=1) you wish you heard on the radio.** _

 

Ever since your husband died the bunker seemed like the quietest place on Earth. On a rare occasion you’d have to crawl into Dean’s bed with him, tears spilling from your eyes. You’d wake up from the nightmare. 

It seemed to happen all over again. You lost Sam during a hunt and you knew the repears wouldn’t let him come back. So you truly lost him for good. The two of you along with your daughter had to give him the hunter’s send off. You couldn’t even stand as you crumbled to the ground; the wood crackling and the smell of burning flesh. 

The nightmare would always be so vivid like you were reliving it. Your heart would wrench as you’d sometimes wake up and vomit from it all. Dean would always comfort you back to sleep. It was a promise he made long ago to his brother.   
Before Sam even planned on proposing, he begged Dean to look after you if anything happened. Dean of course promised to do just that. Then when your daughter came he took up watching her as well. 

However, it wasn’t hard on just you. Dean had trouble as well. The two of you’d find comfort in one another, leaning on each other’s shoulders. 

Your daughter Vera would often times push the two of you away. She’d pretend to be okay just like Dean had done in the beginning. She’d try to remain strong for the two of you. It was a trait she earned from both of the Winchester boys. Vera held more attributes of her father’s than just that. 

From a young age she was interested in hunting. However you and Sam agreed that she had to be much older first. And when the time came, that’s exactly what she wanted. The four of you hunted as a family. It was an adjustment for you. You had spent years with her just being a mother, but it didn’t take long for you to slip back into it. Hunting was second nature to you after all. 

While on the road you’d homeschool her, saving her from moving school to school. Sam had went through it and in no way wanted her to deal with the hassle. 

Vera was smart and ruthless. She loved to learn like Sam did. You remember often times catching him reading to her when she was younger. Then as she grew they’d be in the library with books and papers spread all around. She picked things up quickly and amazed you with all the knowledge she held. She was very talented as well. Occasionally the attributes she earned from you would show. Her stubbornness put her in more trouble than what it was worth. 

Sometimes she’d be clouded by her anger as well. She’d make snap judgements and regret them later. Her heart was big and she cared too much. Or times she’d care too little. 

Within the last month Vera shifted. She no longer kept you and Dean at a distance. Instead, she shoved you away completely. She’d sneak into the bunker late at night. The only reason you knew was that you or Dean would hear her coming in. 

Although last night she never came home. You sat up in the library expecting her to walk through that door at any minute. But it never came. By nine in the morning Dean woke up. He found you sitting up, dark circles formed around your puffy, red eyes. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong?" 

"It’s Vera….. She didn’t come in last night…" 

Dean gulped and sat next to you, taking your hand, "Hey…. I’m sure she’s fine. She knows how to handle herself…. How about we call her?" 

"I- I can’t,” you stuttered out. Tears began to fall down your face again, “I can’t… What if I call her and she doesn’t pick up? What if something has happened to her Dean? I can’t lose her…. I just lost Sam not that long ago…. If I lose her Dean, I will break even more…. I’ll be done…. I can’t handle it…. Not right now… Not ever." 

Dean nodded, "I know. I’ll call her. If she doesn’t answer we’ll go look for her okay? Go get changed." 

You slowly nodded your head and left the room. 

Dean quickly called Vera’s phone. He sighed with relief when she answered. 

"Hey–" 

Dean quickly interrupted her, "You young lady…. Your mother is worried sick. Where the hell are you?" 

"Whoa take a chill pill, Uncle Dean. Just bring mom to the local talent show?" 

Dean’s brows furrowed, "Local talent show? Isn’t that a thing for high schoolers? You don’t go to school…." 

"Yeah it usually is. But it’s a local talent show. Which means anyone can join. Just bring my mom here?"   
Dean sighed, "Just text me the address…." 

Vera ended the call and sent him the address. The two of you went to the location she was at. There was a small crowd and a table of judges. You looked around worried. But your worries were soon washed away when your daughter took the stage. She walked up to the mic as another girl sat at the piano. It was probably the friend Vera recently made. 

The girl began playing as your daughter’s voice rang throughout the room. It was powerful and full of emotion. It hit you like a bag of bricks. Slowly, it became clear that this was what she had been doing those nights out. Practicing.   
Vera’s voice cracked a bit as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Your face matched hers. You quietly wept into your hand that now cupped over your mouth. The water works ran down your face as a mixture of sadness and joy. It had been a long time since the latter happened. Needless to say you were proud of her. 

Dean looked over and rubbed your back tenderly. You could see a stream glistening down his stubbled face. When Vera’s singing subsided everyone clapped. She had to wipe her face before getting off stage, making her way towards you. 

You wrapped her in your arms tightly, "Your father would be so proud of you….." 

"I know…. But mom, maybe it’s time we stopped sitting around in the bunker crying? Dad wouldn’t want this…. We should be out there again…. Saving people, hunting things, the family business." 


	19. Side by Side

_**A[song ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DMGUJg2sIyMs&t=NzAxYTYzY2VkNzY5NjQzYTVjNmZmM2RhMjcyN2Q3NTU0NmUxNDA3NixTcTBWRHBPdA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159777552993%2Fside-by-side&m=1)from your favorite album** _

 

Sam sat at his small table of his apartment, his lip between his teeth. His eyes were fixated on the screen as he absent mindedly rubbed the old photo with his thumb. He scrolled through the page, freezing when he saw the reunion list. Your name was one of the many in the class, and he released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

It had been 10 years since he last saw you. About 9 since he last heard from you. You were best friends who told each other everything. When you both graduated you went your seperate ways after that summer. Sam figured you would both hang out during the summer before the fall came, but in the middle of it you left. You said you had tons of things to prepare for at college that fall. 

A year was spent writing letters back and forth, and sadly that came to an end as well. Instead, it was on Sam’s part this time. 

He tried finding you on Facebook but it was clear you hadn’t been on it in years. You still had an old photo of you from freshman year as the profile picture. Sam often wondered how you were, whether you were married, or had any kids, and even how your work was going. But he was left with all of those unanswered questions that were left in the pile along with unspoken confessions. 

While some of your class would run into their high school sweetheart, Sam looked forward into running into his childhood sweatheart. 

A small smile formed and he glanced to the old, warn down photo. He couldn’t help but chuckle as memories filled his mind. 

That night approached quickly and Sam was getting ready. Dean was over visiting, sipping on a beer. 

He chuckled into the bottle causing it to amplify the sound, “You’re seriously going to this thing?" 

"Well yeah. Why wouldn’t I?" 

"They’re lame. You just go to brag to your old classmates. Some of them are still completely stuck up, or even giant losers covering it up with fake stories. Trust me, everyone will be dressing to impress and downing alcohol to hid the lies. You’d have a better time staying here drinking beer with me." 

Sam sighed and fixed his shirt, "Well for your information I’m only going to see an old friend." 

"Old crush. Not worth it. Probably married, has kids, or even both. Quit hanging on to it, she’s more than likely moved on." 

Sam gave his brother his usual bitch face.

"What? It’s the truth." 

"You don’t get it Dean…. Remember Y/N?" 

"That girl you dated when you were kids? She got hot in high school. I’m surprised you never-" 

"Seriously Dean,” Sam interrupted a bit furious. 

Dean shrugged to his brother and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Well I’m going. I just want to see how she’s doing. Maybe exchange numbers and meet up once in awhile. I kinda miss the way things used to be." 

"There it is. Exactly Sam, how it used to be. Things change and so do people. Just save yourself the disappointment." 

Sam growled and grabbed his keys. He was done hearing his brother’s small lecture. He climbed into his car and made his way to the school. 

Music could be heard faintly playing from outside the building. You were leaning against the hood of your parked car, a smile on your face. All you could think about was the small chance that Sam might come. You regretted how things went between you two after graduation. You would’ve tried to hunt him down on Facebook but it had been years since you logged on. Part of you feared he didn’t remember you or would even want to talk to you. 

After waiting 10 minutes you decided it was time to head inside. You straightened up and headed for the doors. 

Sam parked his car and crossed the street, his eyes widening, "Y/N!" 

Part of him hoped it would be you and not someone else. You stopped and turned, face 

lighting up at the sight of him. Sam hurried over and lifted you into a hug. 

"Holy crap Winchester!" 

Sam set you down and smiled, "Hey it’s been too long." 

You smiled, "It really has." 

"Look I’m sorry I stopped writing you back in college." 

You waved your hand nonchalantly at him, "It’s no biggie. Life happens. We were busy with college. You know, I’m really happy you’re here. Confession?” You watched Sam nod, “I actually came hoping I’d get to see you and talk to you." 

Sam smiled, "Confession?” You nodded and he continued, “That’s the same exact reason I’m here." 

You smiled, "You know, second thought let’s go do something and ditch this. I really don’t want to talk to people I never liked to begin with." 

"How about the diner?" 

Your face lit up even more, "I could seriously go for their burgers right now." 

Sam smiled and walked you towards the diner. The two of you talked about college and life from in between then and now. Turned out Sam went to be a lawyer and then later changed his mind. He was now a contractor which didn’t surprise you. He had always been a fast learner and always enjoyed working with his hands. 

You on the other hand didn’t change what you were going for. You gunned straight for film and now worked on sets. 

Once at the diner you ordered food and laughed over milkshakes. 

Sam’s smile then fell a bit, "I’m surprised you aren’t married with kids." 

You shook your head, "Too busy directing and editing. I mean if I had them I’d be tied down but not right now. And most guys just aren’t worth my time. They never seem to understand. It’s either them or my job." 

Sam nodded. 

"And hey no if someone should be surprised it’s me. I mean you changed. You got hotter in fact. How has a woman not claimed that?" 

Sam practically snorted as he shrugged, "None of them usually want the same thing as me. They just want a fling or something every so often. I’m actually to the point I want to settle down." 

You smiled, "I can relate to that. I mean I don’t want kids but I want my options open. As soon as a guy says it’s a flat no I ditch him. I don’t mean it to be harsh, but I don’t want to change my opinion like that. I might want them I might now ya know." 

Sam nodded and sipped at his drink. He was trying to rack up the confidence, "Confession?" 

"Shoot." 

Sam gulped, suddenly feeling nervous as he felt his palms sweat. He rubbed them against his pants, clearing his throat, "Well uh… Remember when we mutally broke up? Back when we were kids?" 

You nodded, surprised he still remembered that. 

"Well as you know we decided to be best friends. I know this is lame that everyone seems to do this at their reunion thinking it’ll make a good laugh when it’s really just awkward, or that they’d actually get lucky…. But that’s besides the point…. Y/N, I kinda never really stopped liking you. I felt like a dick when I stopped writing you and I wanted to reach out to you again. I was going to add you but when I looked you up it was clear you hadn’t been on it in ages. I know this is a complete long shot and you can feel or say what you want, but I just really needed to get it off my chest." 

You sat there flabbergasted as he let out a sigh of relief. You could feel your heart racing. 

"Well….. Maybe we could give it another go?" 


	20. Doki Doki Morning

_A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DcirhQ8iLdbw&t=MWU0OTM0ZTg5OTk2YzM4NGI1NzliY2IwYjU1OGI0ZTEyMTQxMTQwZSxkdUhpcGQ3TA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159815694768%2Fdoki-doki-morning&m=1) you listen to when you're angry. _

 

Sam came into the bunker after you did. He was carrying the bags in from the hunt with Dean and they could both hear music blaring. Heavy music filled the bunker and Dean sighed. 

“Way to go. You just had to piss her off." 

"I didn’t mean to!" 

"It’s your fault it escalated,” Sam reminded. 

“Just to talk to her, and calm her down or something." 

"Talk to her? Dean are you kidding me? When she’s this pissed she takes it out on me. She’ll be venting and start lashing out. There’s no way to calm her down when she’s this intent." 

Dean sighed, "Alright well I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to." 

Sam rolled his eyes as he shook his head, "Yeah right." 

Dean watched his brother leave through the library to head to their room. 

Sam came up to the door that was ajar and pushed it open, "Y/N? Mind turning it down?" 

You glared up at the taller Winchester. You were still beyond pissed. Even with your small stature you scared the two brothers. When you were angry you were brutally terrifying and wreckless. You could even be unpredictable sometimes. They learned the first time they met you that they should be terrified. You weren’t always some cute and innocent woman. You were a short stick of dynimate that packed a powerful punch. You could kick their asses if you really wanted to as well. 

"Y/N please?" 

With a heavy sigh you turned the music off and left the room. Sam frowned and went after you. 

"Y/N?" 

He was worried. It wasn’t like you to walk off like that. Normally you’d relay a sarcastic comment or your emotions would explode. When it came to your anger it wasn’t an emotion you bottled up. You grabbed your keys and headed for the garage. 

Sam quickly caught up with little effort and turned you to face him, "Where are you going?" 

"Out." 

"Out where? I want to know where you’ll be just in case…. Please?" 

"I’m going on a hunt. There’s some vampires I’m going to take care of." 

"I’m coming with you." 

"No Sam. I’m doing this on my own." 

"No, I’m coming with you. I’m not staying here while you’re out there with a chance of turning or dying." 

You growled, "Just let me go! I’m not a child Sam! I can handle my own!" 

Sam frowned, "It’s because of Dean…. Seriously? I’m coming with you." 

After twenty minutes of arguing and ten minutes of driving, you were at the nest. You and Sam reached an agreement of you’d have ten minutes before he came in. He got a kick out of your angry pout when he even brought the idea up. You had thought about it before agreeing. You knew you would get no where had you kept aruging. 

"Ten minutes. Not two. Not five. Ten." 

Sam held up his hands in defense. 

You grabbed your machete from the backseat and headed in. 

Sam sat back, worried as the minutes ticked by. He quickly grabbed his and headed in after eight minutes. By the time he got in there you had most of the nest killed and were fighting off the last two. One was about to get you until he came to your rescue. 

The two heads thumped against the ground and the bodies slumped over. You were covered in blood and panting. 

"Feel better,” Sam asked. 

“Much. Now I just want to take a shower." 


	21. High High

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DX5XVbVnPis4&t=OWM5ODM1MjlhNTdlZjg0NWFiZjAxYTY3ODdlZGVkMDQ4Mjg0YmY5MixvME1acmFhOA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159851587063%2Fhigh-high&m=1) you listen to when you're happy. ** _

 

When you joined to hunt with the boys you knew you’d be traveling often; but for it to take up almost as much time as hunting wasn’t something you enjoyed too much. You hated being in the car for long periods of time, and for this the three of you came up with ways to keep the ride entertaining. 

The three of you would often times play a game where you said one word and tried making it into a sentence. Other times Dean would jam his music and drum against his steering wheel. During those times Sam would nap or research. You would try finding cases, helping Sam research, or joining in with jamming out. Occasionally Dean would let Sam play his music. Sam would often play country, pop, or other artists from the rock genre. 

This would send Dean into moments of complaining. However, Dean could easily pick who’s music choice he’d prefer, your’s or Sam’s. 

Dean would pick Sam’s any day. You had a habit of picking anywhere from classic rock like Dean would pick, pop, indie folk, or even Kpop. 

He learned the hard way that there was a very slim amount of Kpop that he liked. Sam on the other hand enjoyed it. He enjoyed the way you got into the music, dancing and singing along. You’d practically light up as it lifted your mood. Two artists in particular had captured your heart. You loved them together or even in their group. The leader was one you loved all on his own. 

Sam looked back at you to find you completely sprawled out, bored out of your mind. Dean wasn’t in the mood to listen to his tapes, and nothing of his interest was playing on the radio. 

The three of you were stewing in the silence as Dean drove. Sam had found all of the information he could for the case you’d soon be handling. The games you each made weren’t really making time pass either. Sam shoved the AUX cassette tape into the radio, plugging in his phone he found the song he had in mind. 

Sam smiled as it began to play, causing you to perk up instantly. Dean rolled his eyes, groaning as the music played from his speakers. You began singing along to the words and moving in the backseat. Sam always made mental notes of what songs you liked better or what artist perked your interest. He’d always use that information to put onto his phone for whenever it would come in handy, and it was one of those times. 

You were doing the moves that were used in the video as you sang along.

 _High high I’m so high_  
High high up in the sky   
High high I’m so high  
Fly fly touch the sky

Sam joined in on the dancing and singing. Dean rolled his eyes and reluctantly joined in on the singing. 

The three of you jammed out laughing and singing, making the ride feel like half the time it really was. 


	22. Be as One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of abortion (very brief)

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DUWPu8bJGIdQ&t=NjhlODcwMTFiMWVjOTk3ODI4NzNhMTRlY2QwZWY5Yjk2NzdlZDlkMyw4VEpmTVd4dg%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159888135573%2Fbe-as-one&m=1) you listen to when you're sad. ** _

 

Sam never got to experience certain ‘firsts’ with you. He didn’t get to be your first kiss, your first lover, or even your first best friend; but he was going to do everything in his power to be the last of those. But even with those firsts already achieved, they never compared to the firsts you shared. You were his first marriage, his first girlfriend to know about the life, and hell, you were the first to join them. And because of an accident, you were now going to be the first to have his child. 

After you took the test and it came out positive, the two of you had a long talk about all of it. Being in the life of the hunter abortion was considered but then dismissed. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it and Sam didn’t want that to happen. He would’ve supported you had it been the course you took, and you knew that. Then the option of adoption came along. But as you thought it over, you didn’t want that. Even though it was still the early stages you knew you couldn’t let this child go to someone else. But in the end you still kept it in the back of your mind, because maybe it would be better for the child. They wouldn’t be used as a target; but then if any monsters went after them you wouldn’t be around to save them. And that thought scared you even more. 

During the last two months of your pregnancy Sam had made sure they stuck close by. He had been constantly worried of you and your ever growing belly. 

He’d go out to buy you anything to fix your cravings, even if it was late or he was hunting. He made sure to bring it right to you when they’d return. When your pillows began to lose their fluff he bought you the fluffiest pillows he could find from the local store. He read books constantly and even tell you tips to help make it easier. Sam would often massage your aching body, please the urges you had food wise or even sexually, and he would constantly remind you how beautiful you were. 

Sam made your pregnancy feel like a breeze even though you’d panic occasionally. 

However today you knew Sam would be angry with himself. Luckily for you, Castiel came by the bunker. You had two more days until they were going to induce you, but that plan was thrown out the window. 

You went into labor and Castiel hurried you to the hospital. Sam and Dean were a couple of states over handling a small case. It was one that would have them home in no time. Sam and Dean aruged whether to go or not, but Dean ended up winning the argument. Sam begged you to call if anything happened. You would have if your contractions and trying to get to the hospital didn’t steal all of your focus. 

You gave birth to your daughter without Sam there holding your hand. Castiel stood there beside you, giving you a hand to hold the entire time. He offered to help with your pain but you denied it. You even denied the epidural. It couldn’t be that hard you thought. No worse than facing death almost every day. 

It hurt like hell. But you managed up until the point where she got stuck and needed a bit of help coming out. She was taken care of swiftly and the room was filled with your panting and her cries. 

Sam and Dean ran into the hospital straight for your room. Sam could hear his heart beating in his ears, the sound getting louder as he got closer. However it all seemed to stop when he could hear her cries from the hall. 

He missed it. 

Sam and Dean slipped into the room to find you covered in sweat. Hair was sticking to your forehead as you tiredly looked to the small infant in your arms. Cas was standing by smiling, he had told you from the beginning there was something planned for this child. And after seeing her, he reminded you of it. She was a Winchester after all. And Winchesters had habits of saving anyone around them, or the world for that matter. 

Dean smiled at the sight, ecstatic his niece was finally here. Sam closed the distance from the door to your bed. 

Your smile lit up even more as he kissed your head. You couldn’t help but look at this little being with the utmost love and admiration. Sam held the same expression towards you and your daughter. 

His voice was full of happiness and sorrow, “I’m so proud of you, Y/N." 

You gently nuzzled into him, "I’m not mad at you. Just would’ve been nice." 

Castiel smiled, "She held my hand pretty tightly. She might’ve broken your’s had you been the one to hold it." 

Sam chuckled softly and sat beside your legs on the bed, being careful not to jostle you. Dean came closer to get a better look at the child. 

You handed her to Sam and his eyes glistened even more. It warmed your heart to see how much love he looked at her with. It was so much that it began to overflow onto his face. You chuckled softly and wiped some of them away from the right side of his face. 

Dean snickered softly, "Crybaby." 

Sam shook his head, "Says you. You’re crying too." 

In fact, Dean’s eyes had began watering just staring at her when he walked in the room. 

Dean wiped his face and grumbled, "Shut up." 

Castiel smiled, "I should take my leave. Y/N will need rest and I went to the bunker for something." 

You frowned and looked to the angel, "You don’t have to leave Cas. You’re family." 


	23. Ocean Wide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are flashbacks in this chapter that will be in italics.

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DM_AK-s_lg6o&t=YWZlNWNjYjE2ZmE0MGYxNzQ2OWQwZmExYWU4N2QwNjRmZTFhMjlmZixqOW9xaHF4Mw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159925545348%2Focean-wide&m=1) you want to play at your wedding. ** _

 

That fated day words were exhanged before it was sealed with a kiss. It had been full of passion. All of his love pracitcally poured into that kiss. You could feel his hands slightly trembling as they cupped your face. He was nervous and excited all at once. His hazel eyes were dewy from the moments before. 

You were now a Winchester. 

You, of course, had been a Winchester from the very start. You blended in with the two brothers effortlessly and captured both of their hearts. Except Sam was the one to fall hard for you. The two of you had habits of staying up late after hunts just talking. You’d be outside on the Impala’s hood, sitting and takling through out the night until morning. When the spark between you two finally ignited you’d find yourselves laying in bed, discussing your desires, fears, and even hopes and dreams. 

Dean always poked jokes about how you were one of them, but it was an official truth when you died and came back.

You made the joke about not being a Winchester until you came back from the dead. Needless to say, Sam wasn’t laughing. 

But since that day he had to make you his. With the helps of Dean they sent you off on a case you could easily handle.

The two of them went off to hunt down the ring that Sam would use to later propose. When the time came, Sam took you out to a field. He packed a few things and the two of you sat under the stars. 

The picnic was perfect. 

After stuffing yourselves full you laid back on the sheet to look at the stars. Doing like you always did before, you’d talk about everything that crossed your minds. Whether it was about the hunts, your wishes, or even your relationship. But tonight’s conversation was all about your death. It was clear you were both shaken up from the event. 

_A small smile formed on Sam’s face and he rolled to face you. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye before turning your attention back to the constellations you attempted to point out earlier that night._

_Sam was nervous. He felt like his throat was going to close up as his palms started to get clammy. He let out a soft, shaky breath. His hazel eyes landed on you. They were so full of hope, love, and especially fear._

_‘Now is as a good time as any’, he thought._

_You adjusted to face him, the sigh he let out making you worry. You knew there had to be something gnawing at him._

_You were about to open your mouth to ask if he was okay, until he beat you to it._

_“You know, I’m really happy you’re back. I thought I lost you for good… That it might’ve been my fault… But if there’s one thing it’s taught me, is that I should act now. Because maybe next time you won’t come back… And what was it you said? You’re not a real Winchester until you die? Well… You’re still not a real Winchester without the last name… So what do you say? Will you become a real Mrs. Winchester?"_

_You blinked at him, completely thrown off. It all took a moment to process and you could see the fear growing in his eyes. Were you about to say no? Had he asked at the wrong time? Were you even ready?_

_A smile formed on your face as you let out a breathy chuckle._

_"Sh- should I get on one knee? I knew I should’ve gotten on one knee…. I’m an idiot for just rolling over and asking… Look, if you want to say no that’s okay. If you’re not ready I can–”_

_You pressed your lips to his. Tears were beginning to fall down your face as you kissed him. Once Sam had felt the tears, he gently cupped your face and wiped them away with his thumbs. He smiled into the kiss before slowly pulling away. He rested his forehead to your’s._

_“So does that mean yes?"_

You chuckled, shaking your head at him, "It means hell yes!" 

The two of you were dancing slowly. Sam was leading the way as he held your hand. Thankfully for the heels you much closer to his height than normal. It was only a couple of inches but it made all the difference. 

A smile was painted on your face as you looked up at him. He was wearing the same loving gaze as he looked down at you. 

"Is this song going to ever end,” he joked. 

You rolled your eyes, “It’s only a couple of minutes." 

"It feels like we’ve been dancing for hours." 

You chuckled and shared a kiss with your husband. 

The day was everything you could want. The two of you had planned something small and simple. You ran over the option of just a courthouse wedding, but Sam urged the opposite. He wanted there to be a preacher and all the works.

He wanted you to have a normal wedding since you lived a hunters life. Deep down you were happy he convinced you otherwise. Everyone was having a blast even if it was small. 

Soon the song ended and Sam kissed you again. You could barely hear people clapping and Dean hollering. All you could hear was your heartbeat growing. You wanted this moment to last forever. Then again, you also looked forward to the honeymoon. Even if it was just staying in a hotel that had a pool. But to the two of you, that was a luxury compared to the motels you stayed at. 

Sam chuckled against your lips, rolling his eyes, "Really Dean?" 

"I mean come on! You two have a room to do that in later!" 

You smiled as Dean closed the distance towards the two of you. 

"Now if you’ll excuse me,” Dean said taking your hand, “I have a sister to dance with.”


	24. Knocking on Heaven's Door

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2tmc8rJgxUI&t=OTNjMTRkNGU0MTJkZTNiZGE5ZjlkZmIxYjAwMTE4MjkyNjE0YTQxYSx4RlpQRTJoQw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159959354043%2Fknocking-on-heavens-door&m=1) you want to play at your funeral. ** _

 

Humming silently you tuned the strings on your guitar. It had been one of the few things from your normal life you plucked away to take with you. 

It was your constant reminder to enjoy every moment whether it was little or not. You had even come to cherish your life more since you began to work with the Winchesters. They taught you many things whether it was intended or not. 

They saved you and took you in like family. Within them, you found a family, a life, and a purpose. Fighting monsters become a part of your fight to survive. It pushed you every day in every way. 

Sam and Dean might not ever know, but they saved you. 

And even after all of the chaos, it was moments like these that you enjoyed most. The three of you had stopped by Bobby’s for a movie night. You weren’t up for a movie and decided to kick back on the porch. 

So here you were under the setting sun on Bobby’s front porch. Your guitar was tuned and ready for your fingers to press against the frets and strum the strings. You swiftly pulled off your necklace and removed your pick. Dean had always teased that it was a part of your ‘signature’ look. Your necklace was like Sam with his long hair. However to anyone else, your pick was also like their flannel.

With the small plastic finally between your fingers you began to play a few chords. A small smile formed as you warmed up. 

Sam was standing behind the screen door smiling and watching you. He always loved hearing you play. It was a weakness for him. And when you sang along to what you played? He’d melt instantly. 

There’d been times you’d play, and softly sing one of the boys to sleep. You never minded. Anything to help ease them from their nightmares you were on board with. To you, it was the least you could do. 

You began to pluck at the strings, the soft melody of Guns N’ Roses slowly got louder. You were about to open your mouth to start the harmony, but Sam beat you to it. 

Your playing stopped as you looked over your shoulder at him. The lengthy man stepped out from beyond the screen and onto the porch, taking his place next to you. 

“Don’t stop. Keep going." 

You chuckled softly, "Had I known I’d be having an audience I would’ve rehearsed first." 

Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled, "Don’t mind me. Continue." 

With a smile you started over; plucking the chords and humming softly. Sam smiled and started softly singing. 

You smiled wider and joined in singing with him. The two of your voices harmonizing in sync. 

Sam didn’t sing often, but when he did he put his whole heart and soul into it. You always enjoyed the times he did sing. It always struck you in the right ways. 

However the peaceful moment between the two of you was ruined. Dean decided to pop by the screen and join in. He sang obnoxiously loud and out-of-tune on purpose. A groan erupted from you as he began to cackle. 

"Get outta here Dean! I gotta start over cause of you!" 

"Oh boohoo! You love playing songs over and over!" 

You shook your head, rolling your eyes and letting out a soft chuckle. 

Sam smiled, "Well I guess it’s a good time to ask as any…." 

Your attention turned to the younger Winchester, brows furrowed in confusion. Your brow shot up in curiosity as you leaned forward a bit, urging him to elaborate. 

"I want you to teach me. If that’s okay with you of course." 

You smiled, "Of course." 

You handed the guitar over and began to explain things to him, starting off easy and even showing him the first few chords to the song you played. 

Within a few weeks Sam had learned a lot. You’d teach him during your down times after hunts. You’d even wake up in the morning to find him practicing. However, one day you were expectionally proud of him. He decided to fiddle with the guitar during one of the drives to the location of the hunt. 

Sam played Knocking on Heaven’s Door with little mistakes while the three of you sang to the song happily. 


	25. Caress Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part to Somebody to Love

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DhP50WZuE0LI&t=MjljYTUyYzBhYTkyZTE1ZmQ0NmNjODI1NGFmYTlmMDA5OWRiNmU0MSxNTVF1R01YMQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160000218968%2Fcaress-me-down&m=1) that makes you laugh.** _

 

“Leaving so soon? Why not have a few drinks with us?“ 

You opened your mouth to speak but quickly closed it. 

Amalee had been just beyond the two men, "Text me when you get home!" 

Dean smiled, "I guess it’s settled then." 

He walked in and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, "I’m Dean. This is my brother Sam." 

You blushed and looked to Sam, "Y- Y/N…" 

Dean smirked even more as he lead you and his broter to a table and stools, "Well Y/N, I’m happy you decided to join us. You know your friends are welcome too right?" 

"They have things to do tomorrow." 

Dean pouted, "That’s a shame. I’m gonna go to the bar and grab us a couple of beers. What would you like me to grab for you?" 

Part of you wanted coffee, but you knew that wasn’t happening. 

"Just a water." 

Dean pursed his lips, "I’ll grab you one just in case." 

With that Dean headed off. Leaving you with the tall glass of water you’d love to drink. 

Sam sighed, "Look I’m sorry about him. You don’t have to drink with us just to boost his ego." 

You chuckled softly, brushing some hair behind your ear as you caught your lip with your teeth. 

Sam’s brows furrowed as he watched you, confusion written all over his face. 

Dean appeared before he could even question it. The three of you spent the night talking, and you even switched back to alcohol for a bit. 

You smiled and rose from your stool, "I’ll be back. I’m gonna use the ladies room." 

Dean nodded to you and watched you walk away before smacking Sam’s arm, "Dude." 

Sam gave his brother a weird look, "What?" 

"She is so into you." 

"What? No. She’s probably here because you are." 

Dean’s brows shot up, "Are you kidding me? She was drooling over you pratically the second we walked in. She’s been eying you all night too. Just go." 

His brows knitted together. There wasn’t any way you were flirting. Right? Then again, Dean always did know. 

Dean sighed as you came back over, "Okay so my brother is a bit dense when it comes to someone flirting. You like my brother right?" 

Your eyes widened as you blushed. You choked on your water and set it down quickly, "Wh- what?" 

"Dean,” Sam scolded. 

Dean ignored Sam and smiled, “Am I right Sweetheart? Or have I just been misunderstanding all of it?" 

Your face flushed from being thrown onto the spot like that. What if he wasn’t interested? 

What then? But one look at Sam you knew you had to answer. If you didn’t, someone else might come in and leave with him. 

"I guess I was–" 

"No,” you quickly interrupted Dean. “You weren’t wrong I mean." 

Sam’s face slowly flushed and he cleared his throat a bit. 

Dean smirked, "Well then. Why don’t you go show my brother a good time?" 

You looked to Sam questioningly. 

Sam gulped, "How about I take you home?" 

You sighed a bit and followed him out of the building. You felt a sudden confidence wash over you and you stopped him. With a swift movement you had him turned and his lips pressed against yours. Sam at first was hesitant, but then melted into it with dominance. He cupped your face and kissed you aggressively. You let out a soft groan as you tasted his beer mixing with your vodka. 

Sam pulled away panting softly, "We should find somewhere more private." 

Your face was completely flushed, "We could go to my place or your motel room." 

Sam pulled his already swollen lips between his teeth. He quickly nodded and helped you into the Impala. He hurried the two of you back to his motel room. 

You were hot on his tail as he unlocked the door. Your hands had snaked around his body as you pressed firmly against his back. Once he pushed the door open he turned and lifted you with ease. His lips were back on your’s with aggression and hunger. You quickly wrapped your arms and legs around him as he held your legs up. 

Before you knew it, he was kicking the door closed and carrying you over to the bed. He placed you down, biting and sucking on your neck; pulling moans from you as you thread your fingers into his hair. You gently tugged at his tousled locks, dragging a growl from deep within his throat. 

Sam pulled away from your bruising skin to usher your shirt off, the chill of the room causing you to shiver. You watched as his muscles worked and rippled from beneath his flannel. You licked your red, swollen lips at the thought of them just even touching his bare skin. Sitting up, you shoved his shirt up his body to reveal the small valleys of his abs. Sam caught onto the hem of his shirt, yanking it off the rest of the way. Slowly, you dragged your lips against his hip. Sam let out a low moan, watching you kiss at his sensitive spot and undo his jeans. 

You looked up to him with a daring smirk as you pushed his jeans down. 

A breath caught in your throat as you took in the sight of his clothed, hardened memember. 

Sam smirked and pushed you back onto the bed, pinning you down as he trailed his lips down your body. His teeth lightly grazed one of your perked buds, the other being rolled and pinched between his fingers. With his free hand he got to pushing your pants down. The denim managed to pull your soaked panties with them. The warmth of his mouth left your breast as he pushed your legs apart. He pressed an aggressive to your hip, his lips gravitating towards your aching heat. 

"Sam please,” you pracitcally begged. 

His hazel eyes glanced up to you. You were squirming from the anticipation as it built.   
Sam smirked before dragging his warm tongue along your dripping folds. You tried to pull him closer but he wouldn’t budge. You even tried thrusting closer, instead he pinned you down. His hands gripped at your waist as he flicked his tongue over your clit. You could feel him smirk before he sucked onto it hard. 

Your hips came off the bed as your moaned, your hand tugging gently at his soft locks. 

Sam grunted before going lower. He teased you again before thrusting his tongue into you. He kept it up until you were a moaning, panting mess. 

All of your moans went straight to his hardened memeber, causing it to straight even more against the fabric. 

“Sam please…. I need you." 

Sam moaned, palming himself through the fabric. He gave his tongue another thrust before pulling away, licking his lips. He used thumb to wipe up the remained juices from his mouth a chin, licking his thumb clean. His moan was erotic and turned you on even more. 

"Fuck you taste amazing. I bet that sweet little cunt of your’s will feel even better clenching around my cock." 

You could’ve lost it right there. But you were holding it off to the best of your ability.   
Sam pushed his boxers off, his cock springing free from it’s confines. 

You could see the precum glistening as it leaked out. And god how you wanted to taste it. But the thought of having him in your mouth wasn’t even there. You were more turned on by how big he was. He was going to hurt, but all in the right ways. 

Sam noticed the look on your face. He gave you a look, making sure this is what you really wanted. You nodded and Sam kissed you. 

He lined himself up between your legs, pushing slowly to give you a chance to adjust. You moaned and clung onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin lightly. The grip tightened once he was fully sheathed inside of you. 

"God Sam please move!" 

Sam gave you a hungry grin, his eyes blown and darkened with lust. He pulled back almost completely before driving back into you with an incredible force. 

You practically screamed out as you clawed into his back. His hips slammed into your’s as he brushed your sweet spot. You shuddered and wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to pull him in even further. Sam wouldn’t budge and kept his thrusts shallow. He growled and clenched the sheets beside your head as he thrusted even further. He moaned out as he felt your walls clench around him. 

"That’s it Y/N. Wanna feel you…" 

He pulled back a bit and gripped your hips tightly, angling himself and thrusting all the way in at an incredible force. His hips slapped against your’s with quick timing. Each thrust brushed over your sweet spot, egging you closer. He moaned as he felt you getting closer each second. 

Sam snarled as you moaned out, meeting his thrusts. One hand left your hip as he pressed his thumb to your swollen bundle of nerves. His hips jerked forward, his head rolling back as he felt your walls clench around him tightly. His speed slowed down as his movements faltered. 

You cried out as he pushed deeply into you, his seed coating your fluttering walls. He road you through your orgasms before pulling away. 

You were both panting and sweating as he handed you something to clean up with. You were only half way done when he took his place beside you on the bed, pulling you into his embrace. 

He was smirking and you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. This caused his smirk to melt away into a look of confusion. 

"Sorry. That was amazing. Better than my own hands." 

Sam’s eyes widened a bit as he realized what you were meaning before he chuckled himself. 

"Had I known that I would’ve made you wait and beg for it." 


	26. Smother Me

_**A[song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dhg9-zW6njmk&t=NDM4MmU5ZDAzZTBiZjVkMDgyOWQ2OWQ3MmNlMzI4ZmJjNTY1YWEyMSxvZnhIWWt1aQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160038799293%2Fsmother-me&m=1) you can play on an instrument.** _

 

Silence. It was all you could hear in the bunker and it drove you insane. It never helped when your depression and lonliness loomed over you. But you weren’t the only one feeling this way. 

The younger Winchester was in the same rut. 

He blinked hard in frustration and to fight off his growing fatigue. He had to focus and get this translated. In fact the case practically depended on it. 

Footsteps sounded through, bouncing off the walls as Dean stepped into the war room. 

“Dude, it’s two in the morning…. What are you still doing awake?" 

Your eyes glanced to the clock on your bedside table. Sure enough it was two in the morning, causing you to sigh softly. You focused on Sam and Dean talking. The sound of Sam’s voice always calmed you down. Maybe if you were lucky enough it’d make you fall asleep.

"I’ve gotta get this stuff done Dean." 

Dean sighed, "Go get some sleep Sammy." 

You heard the chair scrape the ground and then a small clutter. You buried your face into your pillow to pretend you were sleeping as tears began to stain the cotton fabric. 

You heard Dean wonder into his room and shut the door. You weren’t worried of Dean seeing you since he didn’t have to pass by your room, but Sam had to. And you didn’t want him to see you this weak- this lonely. Hell, part of you wished he would comfort you. But he wasn’t your’s to seek comfort in. He wasn’t even your’s to hold on to. 

Sam wasn’t paying attention and walked into your room tiredly. You stayed quiet, waiting. Sam trudged over to your bed, pulling the covers back he crawled in beside you. He tensed up a bit when he felt you against him. 

"Y/N?” Sam sighed when you didn’t respond, realizing you were asleep. He was about to get up and leave until he heard your breathing. 

It was clear you weren’t asleep. He could hear that you were crying- trying to mask it up. Sam took in your curled form, crumbling into yourself with your sadness. 

His dry, chapped lips pulled into a frown as his brows knitted together. 

“Y/N? Are you alright?” Sam let out a sigh when you didn’t respond. “I know you’re awake… Please?" 

You sniffled and adjusted to look at him. 

"Talk to me?" 

You shook your head softly, "It’s nothing…. Just go to your room." 

Sam scowled even more, "I’m not leaving this bed until you tell me." 

You turned your focus back to your pillow as you let out a shaky breath, "I’m lonely…. I’m depressed. I’m overthinking. I worry that if I confess a certain truth, things will end badly." 

Sam blinked a bit, not expecting you to cave so quickly. He shook his head gently and focused back on you, "It’s alright. If you don’t wanna talk about it then that’s okay. But Dean and I are here for you. Always." 

"But I don’t want,” you let out a sigh. “Sam I’m just tired… I’m tired of all of it. I’m tired of being lonely. I’m jealous when Dean finds something. Yeah it’s for a night, but I’m jealous. No one wants me. You two only deal with me because I’m a good hunter… I’m not–" 

"Stop…" 

You looked to him to see hurt in his eyes. Why did it upset him?

"We like having you around. You’re an amazing hunter, great friend, and an even better person. And what Dean finds isn’t something. It’s not anything but booty calls…. It’s not meaningful…” He gulped convincing himself to keep going. “Someone wants you. Someone out there truly does…. I mean…. I want you. I’ve wanted you, Y/N." 

Your heart began to hammer as you processed what he just said. The tears still going down your face pulled you back into a sort of focus, "Y- You do?" 

"Of course… That’s if you’ll have me?" 

You rolled over to get a better look at him, nodding shyly. 

Sam smiled and opened his arms. He kissed your head once you rolled into his arms. He began to comfort you and rub your back gently. 

"Whatever is burdening you right now isn’t something we have to talk about. Talk about it when you’re ready okay? For now, just let it all out." 


	27. Let It All Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character death

_**A[song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLxv4oj4OcY)you wish you could play.** _

 

You stared at the unopened box for what felt like forever. Part of you wanted- needed to know, but in the back of your mind all of that came to a screeching halt. You were overthinking. You had to be. Maybe it was stress? That’s it. You’re a hunter, so of course you’ll be stressed. Then again, days melt together so maybe you miscounted. 

The sound of the boys walking into the motel sent you into a panic. You quickly hit the box of tests and flushed the toilet to make them think you were using the restroom. While washing your hands you gave yourself a mental peptalk before slipping out. 

You immediately took notice of the third person tagging along. Dean informed you of the situation. They were hiding when the shapeshifter killed their roommate and shifted into them. Dean and Sam had arrived to interview her, and she of course wanted revenge. The thing had killed her roommate and her boyfriend already. It was clear she’d be next.

While hunting for the shapeshifter Dean went through the process of explaining how to even kill the damn thing. She listened intently. With all the new information, they got to working on finding where it even was. 

Luckily for everyone, it was hiding out in an abandoned house. The four of you would’ve been there sooner, but Dean urged a food break first. So by the time you got there it was dark. 

The four of you split up. Sam wanted to go with you, but the girl had proven to you that you didn’t want her near them. She may have been grieving, but that was no excuse to get flirty with both of the boys. Part of you didn’t care too much if it was directed at Dean, but he was like a brother to you. So Sam and Dean took one side while you and the girl took the other. 

She went off ahead while you made sure you didn’t miss anything. 

“Hey I’m gonna go ahead and check. If you see anything call for me?" 

The girl nodded as the shifter went ahead of her. Your brows furrowed and you approached her. 

"Who were you just talking to?" 

Her eyes widened as she looked to you and the way the shifter had just went. 

"What?”

She quickly drew the gun and your eyes widened. 

“Hey whoa! I’m not the shifter! I can prove it!" 

"That’s exactly what a shifter would say." 

_BANG!_

The sound reverberated throughout the house. Sam and Dean looked to each other and hurried to where the sound came from. They found the girl shaking and holding the gun. Then they took notice of you bleeding on the floor. 

Sam dropped beside your body, trying to stop the bleeding, "No, no, no….. No…. Y/N, Baby…. Hang on…." 

Dean yanked the gun from her hands, pissed and upset all at once, "I’ll deal with the skinwalker. You stay here." 

Dean walked off and Sam’s face was overflowing with tears. His efforts to stop the bleeding weren’t working and you were already gone. 

Once the realization hit him, he let out a loud sob. His large form shook above your body as he pulled you up into his arms. Blood covered his shirt and hands as he held you. 

Each sob that left his body caused him to crumble even more. Dean came back and helped his brother from the floor. 

"Let’s get her outta here and give her the proper hunter send off." 

"No…. I’m not losing her Dean… I can’t…. I have to bring her back." 

"And do what? Sell your soul? Sam you know how she’d feel…." 

Sam gulped and crumbled into his brother. Dean sighed and rubbed his brother’s back. 

"Get to the car Sammy…. Take her with you… I’ll get Y/N." 

Sam nodded and lead the girl out. Every part of him was angry with her. She killed his girlfriend- the love of his life. You were the only girl to know about the hunter’s life. And you would be the only girl to have ever known. 

After they dropped the girl off, they headed back to the motel. The two brother’s smelled of fire and burnt flesh. It was a smell Sam never hoped to reek of. Especially since it was your body. 

Sam walked into the bathroom to rid himself of the scent. He tossed the clothes off his toned body, accidentally knocking something over. The small thud drew his attention and Sam pulled the box from hiding. His hands shook at the sight of the box. He crumbled to the floor, his knees thunking into the tiled floor. The impact shot pain up his limbs but he felt completely numb to it. He just lost you and the possibility of your child. Any further he could ever want with you and dream of, was now a pile of ashes.


	28. Drown

_**A[song ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DqbWgw4Tmh4k&t=MDM2MDI0NTM3ODJhMjhhYTZlODBhNDNkNzA3MTRkMGVkMjc5MDM4YyxkbG9WZHRETA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160107940088%2Fdrown&m=1)that makes you feel guilty.** _

 

The screen lit up Sam’s face as his eyes reflected the image behind the small, glass display. While he wanted to smile at the picture, all it did was make him upset. The anger coursed through his veins, and the thoughts of you just made him sick. 

With a heavy sigh he gently tossed his phone onto his bedside table. 

Sam adjusted in his bed as the screen faded to black. The darkness of the room seemed to consume him as he relaxed his arm under his pillow. A small wince caused him to pull his hand back. The bones and muscles were still aching from the healing breaks. 

His face scrunched at the sudden jolt that ran up his arm. Another sigh left his chapped lips as his eyes darted to where his phone sat. His lids were growing with fatigue and he caved into the urge. Once they hid his hazel eyes his mind wandered back to the memory. It seemed to flash and place it’s burden in his mind within a matter of seconds. 

He had met you during a case in Illinois. It was supposed to be a one night thing- it should have been. He should’ve left your bed in the morning, but instead he decided to grab the two of you some coffee and breakfast. The two of you sat at your table in your kitchen chatting. It was so nice and refreshing for him. He was able to talk about so much with you, and hold meaningful conversations. It was a huge relief and so pleasant talking to someone other than Dean or Cas. By the time noon had arrived, Sam had to jet. But before he left he made sure you exchanged numbers.

From there the two of you would talk on the phone. Sam would even take time to stop by your place and visit. Needless to say you two were an item. But there’d be times where Sam wouldn’t call or anything, which would make you worry. The one night Sam came over after a hunt needing a first aid kits attention, he decided to tell you about his life. This had freaked you out. Once you had him patched up you sent him out the door, needing to think it all over. Within a weeks time you had called him. It had been a phone call that lasted all night. The two of you spewing out apologies and promises to make it right- to make it better. 

And that’s when it slipped. 

You exchanged I love you’s like you exchanged numbers. In a happy, nervous rush. 

Sadly for Sam, all good things usually come to an end for him. That’s what happened. It happened faster than he expected. You had felt it coming for quite some time. 

There had been a few weeks where Sam never contacted you. No calls, no texts, and no stopping by. You thought it was over, or even worse: that he was dead. The few weeks turned into over a month. By then you were convinced. So in turn you deleted everything that reminded you of him. You even decided to try moving on. 

That as a big mistake. 

Sam had stopped by with flowers to surprise you. He was full of guilt for not contacting you for so long. But the three of the boys had been busy. They were facing something huge. They were facing the darkness, and it took all of their focus to handle it. 

He walked into your house as the guilt weighed him down, but his excitement pulling him back up. It was an emotional battle, but both came crashing down in an instant. He had heard you in bed with another. Instead, he just turned right around and left. Betrayl, anger, and sadness were collapsing on his shoulders. It was like he was drowning in his emotions when he threw himself into the car. He had no idea what to do- what he could do. So he did what Dean would do. 

Sam went to the nearst bar and practically drank his weight in alcohol. He wasn’t his happy drunk. He wasn’t even a funny drunk. Tonight he went straight for emotional drunk. He clumsly dialed Dean. He needed a ride and his big brother came to the rescue. 

Dean teased his brother for reeking like the bar, but Sam wasn’t handling it very well. Dean frowned and practically poked him with a verbal stick. It all came pouring out as his words matched his eyes. His hazel eyes were growing red from the crying and his chest ached. 

Dean had been pissed. You had hurt his little brother. Dean carried his tipsy brother into the motel and laid him down. By the time morning came, he urged him to contact you. 

The call was at first a shock to you, but then it melted into something worse. Curses spewed from both sides. You were both vexed and perturbed. There seemed to be no way of coming back. To Sam you had cheated. To you, you had moved on. You thought he was dead. 

Dean tried to calm Sam down when the call ended. The only thing Dean had been right about was that neither of you were in the right. You were both wrong. This of course set Sam off more. Instead of listening to his brother he left and slammed the door behind him. He had to do something to clear his mind. 

Sam went off that day and took a hunt. Once it was completed he met back up with Dean. He made Dean promise to never bring it up again. With a simple nod, Dean abided his brother’s request. 

Sam’s eyes opened and propped himself up on his elbow. It didn’t take much for him to reach over and press the button on his phone. The screen lit up as it showed the time. It was four in the morning and he had yet to fall asleep. He sighed and threw himself off his elbow onto his back. He ran his hand down his face, the stubble scratching at his skin. He knew he needed to get some sleep, but also acknowledged that wouldn’t happen. 

It had been weeks since he was last in Illinois. You had tried to reach him once. All you left was a text message saying you missed him. Sam convinced himself it was a lie. That you didn’t miss him and that you never loved him. He hoped telling himself that would make it easier, when in reality it made it harder. He hated to admit that he missed you, that he was lost, and missed the warmth of you beside him. 

Sam let out a frustrated groan and left his room. His large feet padded against the floor, and his phone thumped against his thigh as he made his way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he pulled out a beer and ushered the amber liquid down his throat. His taste buds came alive at the taste of alcohol. Leaning against the counter to relieve his tired body, he swirled the bottle around making the contents dance. 

It was annoying the way he was feeling. It felt like a scratch on his back that he couldn’t reach- that wouldn’t go away even if he did manage to get it. It was nagging at him and he just wanted to get rid of it all. 

His entire body felt numb from the weight as he was drowning in it all. Dean had been trying his best to help Sam through it all. Even though Dean was his life boat, he was still drowning. And all he wanted to do was to actually drown. Maybe it would actually make things better- help clear his head. 

Sam downed the beer and headed back to his room. He threw himself onto his bed, the covers pulling over him, so he could finally drown. 

 

 


	29. Shoots and Ladders

_**A[song ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DPWXy3JccJzM&t=NmVmMzA4OTY2OTg5Mjg5OGYwYTVmMjFhZjdmYWU1Y2Q2ZWQwNWI2OSxHN3hYdEZteA%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160141917843%2Fshoots-and-ladders&m=1)from your childhood.** _

 

The day had finally come. It was a day you never really looked forward to. Every part of you wanted to keep your little princess innocent as long as you could, but she had to know about the truth and reality. There was no way you could prolong it anymore, especially since every time the boys came back to the bunker with cuts and bruises. There was only so much you could tell her to stop the questions throughout the years. 

You had finished patching the boys up and decided to sit Vivian down. It was time and god how you regretted it. 

Sam gave your hand a light, reassuring squeeze. 

You let out a shaky breath, “Sweetie, you know how Daddy, Uncle Dean, and Uncle Cas often times come home and need fixed up?" 

Vivian nodded. 

You opened your mouth to tell your seven year old daughter, but couldn’t find the courage. You had helped the boys give so many people the talk, but with your daughter you just couldn’t gather up the right words. 

Sam gave you a gentle smile and explained for you. He explained to where she would understand. 

You watched as her face contorted into confusion before processing the information she had been given. But then a smile appeared across her face. 

"So you’re like super heroes!" 

Sam chuckled, "Sorta Princess." 

"But instead of super powers you use weapons! Wait is that why Cas has super powers? Cause he’s a crime fighter too?" 

You giggled softly, "He’s an angel, Sweetie." 

Her hazel eyes grew wide. 

"So that means when we die we can go to Heaven? I wanna go to Heaven and be with you guys!" 

Sam smiled a bit, "Yeah we’ll go to Heaven when we die. And you’ll be there with us when it comes to it, but let’s not rush it?" 

"Right! We gotta save the world!" 

She stood up in her chair and jumped off, running around the war room making gun noises. 

And even though it pained you, she wanted to join the family business. You didn’t really mind since you were a part of it, but you wanted her to have a normal life. Sam felt like he already tore much of a normal life from you and your daughter, but in Vivian’s eyes this was her normal. 

And since that day you both sat her down, that was the day she knew she wanted to be a hunter. And she turned out to be a terrifying hunter. She was smart like Sam, quick thinking like you were, kicked ass like Dean, and treasured all that was given to her like Castiel. Of course, it was no surprise she would turn out this way. After all, she was a Winchester. 


	30. Wildest Dreams

_**Your favorite[song ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIdneKLhsWOQ&t=NTM3YjZmNThkYWExY2EyMzY1OGMyOWMyYTU3ZTJiMjRlOTkyNjE2YSxtWW91RUt3dw%3D%3D&b=t%3AzLqNhxDZ4nsPT59xn1UGow&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsammy-moo.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160179716543%2Fwildest-dreams&m=1)this time last year.** _

 

He was tall, tan, and handsome as hell. His chestnut brown hair fell into his face, the locks flipping away as he jerked his head up to look at you. The light seeping through the cracked window caught his hazel eyes, giving them a golden hue. You were awestruck until he opened his mouth, snapping you from your daydream.

“Hey, you okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah I’m fine." 

"Alright I cleared out over here, you all clear?" 

Sam had looked back to Dean who was covered in vampire blood. You were taking the nest down by yourself but Sam and Dean barged in. Sam ended up saving you from getting turned, or even worse killed. Dean had handled the other half while you and Sam tackled your end. 

"Yeah we’re clear." 

Dean was confused until he saw you, perking up again at the sight of a good looking lady, "Hey, I’m–" 

"Dean. I know. And he’s Sam. You’re both Winchesters. I’ve heard about you,” you interrupted. 

“Yeah and you are,” Dean questioned. 

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.” You stuck your hand out and Dean shook it before Sam could. 

Sam reached out and took your hand into his large one, shaking it with a firm grip. 

“We should get outta here. I could really go for a drink, or drinks." 

Sam shook his head and you followed the two out of the building. They tossed their machetes into the trunk of the Impala. 

"Y/N, you’re free to join us for drinks,” informed Dean.

You nodded simply, “Sounds good. I just need to head out back and grab my car. So I guess I’ll see you guys there?" 

Dean nodded and they climbed into the car. You heard the engine roar to life as you jogged to your car. You quickly slipped in and brought the car to life. 

You had met up with the boys at the only bar in town. The three of you shared stories over the drinks. And as the night wore on, the spark flying between you and Sam ignited. The fire was brought to life in the back seat of your ‘70 Monte Carlo. 

And that was your first encounter of the Winchesters. 

The second encounter was helping them with a rugaru case. And that night you and Sam had another encounter. Dean had made the joke that you two would end up doing it every time. 

The third encounter the three of you ran into each other trying to work a shapeshifter case. From that moment on you decided to stick with them. Which meant your fling with Sam turned into a permanent situation. Not that either of you minded. Dean, on the other hand, kept teasing the two of you over it. 

 _You however saw the end as soon as it began. Sam decided to go separate ways from you. The last thing he would remember you saying to him, was to not forget you. And he would never forget you. He’d often times find himself dreaming about you. He’d even think about you in his darkest hours when he had privacy to spare. The thoughts of your kissed swollen lips wrapped around his cock, your cheeks hollowed out. Your hand would work the same pace while you bobbed your head. Moans would fall from both of your lips. He’d even think about the times he had you pinned beneath his large frame. He’d thrust into you mercilessly with his hands digging into the flesh of your hips. The sight of you in complete bliss with your cheeks flustered, and when your orgasm would wash over you it was a sight to behold. He’d always think of you clenching around his hard cock, pulling out every drop of his thick, hot ropes of cum. He’d work himself through it all to the thoughts of you. And he’d be left with the memory that he walked away as he would pant and have to clean himself up. Sam would adjust and push his arm underneath the pillow. His lids would fall heavy and he’d have even crazier dreams of you, all to be fantasy._  

Sam sat up quickly, panting as his hair stuck to the beads on his forehead. Sweat pooled in the small of his back and all over his clavicle. He kept himself up with one hand as the other wiped some of the sweat away from his face. His hazel eyes landed on your still sleeping form. Your breathing was slow as you softly snored. A sigh fell from his lips as he relaxed back into the bed, pulling you flush against his chest. His nose found it’s way into your hair. The smell of your peach shampoo comforting him from the nightmare he just woke up from. The thought of you no longer being around terrified him. And the thought of pushing you away hurt him even more. He didn’t want to lose you like he lost the rest. However, it was relaxing to finally have someone who knew the life. Someone like you.


End file.
